


Anyone Who Knows What Love Is

by Elerrina174



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Awkward Romance, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Lyrium Withdrawal, Nightmares, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-03-07 12:29:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 45,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13434747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elerrina174/pseuds/Elerrina174
Summary: Belle is a nobody, with a life that only means something to the Maker, the Mothers she helps in the Chantry and sometimes even herself on a good day. That is until an explosion rips a hole in the veil and literally rocks her world, plunging Thedas into chaos. But she finds that an explosion isn't the only thing that can rock your world when she inadvertently joins the Inquisition, and meets a handsome ex Templar. This is the cheesiest summary, I swear the story is better than this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for giving this story a chance, even with that cheesy summary. Feel free to leave a comment, any feedback is appreciated. Chapter postings may be sporadic so bear with me. Thanks again! I hope you enjoy!

"Belle.... Belle?!"

The call came ringing through the mostly empty Chantry, reverberating off the cold stone walls. Belle could hear the slightly high-pitched voice of Mother Gwen calling her name through the large wooden door before she had even reached the top of the stairs. She was coming up from the cold dark dungeon that lay under the Chantry, _why did they even need a dungeon?_ with an arm full of dusty old books and scrolls that Mother Liesel had asked her to retrieve.

As she reached the top step she shifted the precarious load in her arms to give herself a free hand to push the heavy wooden door open. "Belle, there you are." came the slightly exasperated voice of Mother Gwen as soon as Belle could be seen emerging from the side room "I've been looking everywhere for you.” she continued in that same slightly annoyed tone. _Apparently not everywhere_ thought Belle as she gave the Mother a gentle smile shifting the load in her arms again.

"I'm sorry Mother, I was collecting some things for Mother Liesel, what do you need?" She offered in an apologetic tone not wanting to further annoy the already anxious looking Mother. She made her way carefully over to the table at the far side of the Chantry, mindful of the slightly awkward load in her arms and the pace of the aging woman at her side.

"I need you to help me clean the Chantry." Came the Mother's hasty reply as she anxiously watched Belle slowly and deliberately put the books and scrolls down on the desk, seemingly trying to quicken her movements with her gaze.

"Alright, what exactly do you need me to do?" Noting the anxious way the Mother was watching her, Belle continued to straighten the books on the table.

"I need you to scrub the floors." At this Belle straightened, the reply took her slightly off guard. She had helped the Mothers clean the Chantry many times before but they had never asked her to scrub the floors, as it was an almost futile thing to do.

"Scrub the floors?" Belle knit her eyebrows together at this and couldn't help the almost disbelieving tone in her voice. "Mother you know I am always happy to help but why do you need me to scrub the floors?"

"Because dear girl," Mother Gwen replied in her best “Mother” voice trying to hide the nervous and almost excited hitch in it, "Divine Justinia is coming, and her advisors will arrive... today."

*******

Belle was on her hands and knees with her sleeves rolled up to her elbows vigorously scrubbing away at the cold stone floor when the news of the advisor’s arrival in Haven reached the Chantry.

Apparently, no one had known of their impending arrival until early that morning. The advisors and Divine Justinia had planned to set up in a small town to the east of Haven, but an avalanche that had nearly engulfed the small village had changed their plans. They had sent a message ahead to alert Haven to their arrival but the message had only arrived this morning.

This news had sent Haven into a frenzy, with everyone running around trying to make the appropriate accommodations for not only the advisors but the Divine herself. All of the Chantry Mothers were on edge trying to make sure everything was perfect for the Divine’s arrival, which in turn had meant Belle had been on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor of the Chantry for most of the morning. Many might have become annoyed under Mother Gwen's ever watchful gaze and constant nagging seemingly hanging over Belle scrutinizing her work, but Belle merely shrugged it off. She was just happy to have something to do and some way to help with the preparations. She knew that the Mother’s tense mood was just a result of the stress she had just recently been put under.

As she was scrubbing away lost in her thoughts she could hear the continued commotion outside as the people of Haven ran around frantically making the appropriate preparations. Doing her best to not get distracted, Belle kept her focus on the task at hand, scrubbing in slow deliberate circles over the stone floor with her blackened brush before dipping it in the bucket of cool soapy water at her side, and continuing the process slowly making her way closer to the far end of the Chantry. She was almost to the far wall when the giant wooden doors leading into the Chantry flew open and a disheveled townsperson rushed in, spewing information the second his shoes hit the stone floor.

Belle felt herself wince as she watched the mud-caked shoes of the young man make their way across the floor she had just scrubbed clean. She made a mental note to go back and at least wipe up the mess he had just made, before turning her attention to what he was saying. The man was speaking in broken sentences which were interrupted by rasping breaths as he tried to get enough air in his lungs to speak properly. "The advisors.... they.... they’re here.... in Haven.... just arrived...coming to the Chantry."

"When, when are they coming to the Chantry?!" Belle heard Mother Gwen say anxiously from somewhere behind her, interrupting the poor young man in a high pitched frantic voice as he paused to gulp in another mouthful of air.

"Now" was his reply eliciting a small undignified yelp from the aged Mother who had come around to stand directly in front of the young man and therefore in front of Belle. She subsequently hit Belle in the face with her robes as she spun in a frantic circle jostling the large hat on her head. She then began to nervously pace around the room looking for any last-minute fixes she could make. Belle smoothed her now slightly disheveled hair that had been tousled by the Mother’s flying robes, by running one of her damp hands through it. She then went back to scrubbing the floor, knowing that there was nothing she could say or do to help calm the Mother’s nerves. The only change visible in her otherwise calm demeanor being the slight quickening of her brush strokes.

Belle wished she could say "now" was an understatement, however, the advisors took their time making it to the Chantry. Which was all good and fine with her as she still had some ways to go before she was done with the floor. However, she couldn't say the same for poor Mother Gwen who spent every painfully long minute pacing back and forth on the Chantry floor wringing her hands, eyes darting about looking for something, anything she could do to improve the Chantry and pass the time. But finding nothing she seemed to content herself with pacing back and forth watching others run about making the occasional comment on their work. This went on for a few minutes before the large Chantry doors once again flew open startling everyone, only this time instead of revealing a single, panicked, out of breath young man they opened to reveal three intimidating figures.

A hush fell over the Chantry, as everyone stopped what they were doing and moved to the sides to allow the three figures to pass by them. Well everyone except for Belle that is, she decided that it would be strange if she stopped cleaning midway. So instead, she stayed where she was believing it to be out of the way enough and continued to scrub slow circles over the cold hard stone beneath her palms. The only indication that she even noticed their entrane were the small glances she kept stealing in between brush strokes.

Belle noted that the two women at the front of the group had the same serious expression on their faces walking perfectly in time together. _Those must be the left and right hands of the Divine_ Belle thought. Hwever, which was the left and which was the right she didn't know. The woman on the right had short black hair some of which was braided in a crown around her head, she had a square firmly set jaw, deep-set slightly upturned eyes and eyebrows that were a little too low and little too close together giving the impression that she was scowling...unless she was actually scowling. Belle couldn't tell if that was simply how she looked or if the woman was in a sour mood. She had a couple of scars scattered on her face showing her years of experience but they did nothing to take away from her natural beauty, instead they just added to her serious look. The woman to her left was also beautiful but in a different way. She had more delicate features with a pointed chin, prominent cheekbones and short red hair that just brushed her jaw. Neither woman paid her any attention as they strode through the chantry.

Behind the two women was a man about a head taller than both which said something about his height as neither woman could be considered short. He had wide shoulders and therefore a broad chest, clad in a full set of armor with......a small animal wrapped around his neck?? Belle stifled a laugh at the ridiculous looking cloak about his shoulders which she only noticed long enough to suppress a giggle at, before her eyes were drawn elsewhere. He was handsome, far more handsome than any man she had ever seen with a square jaw, kind amber eyes and a scar that bisected his upper lip, disrupting his short blonde stubble with a faint silver line. His hair was a golden blonde and looked as if it could have been a tousle of gentle curls on his head if not for the gel holding it in place.

Surprisingly, he was the least intimidating out of the three despite his size, full armor and the deadly looking sword strapped to his waist. There was something about his demeanor that was less harsh than the others. He didn't share the scowl splayed on the dark-haired woman's face or the cold expression of the redhead. Instead, while the others stared seriously forward his eyes wandered the room examining it and the people within with a curious eye. Belle was interrupted from her thoughts and examination of the three advisors by the dark-haired woman's loud voice thick with a Nevarran accent echoing through the Chantry inquiring after the head Mother.

"I am head Mother here." came Mother Gwen’s uneasy reply as she stepped out of the shadows from behind Belle and in front of the intimidating advisors. The dark-haired woman then proceeded to introduce them all. She was Cassandra Pentaghast a Seeker and the right hand of the Divine. The woman next to her was Sister Leliana the left hand of the Divine. And the man behind them was Commander Cullen Rutherford, he was a former Templar recruited from his post in Kirkwall to aid in the peace talks between the mages and templars. _Of course!_ the conclave for the peace talks was happening at the Temple of Sacred Ashes which was up the Frostbacks a little way from Haven. The Divine and her advisors needed a place to stay during the meeting and it was an honor that they had chosen Haven...even if it had been their second choice chosen out of necessity.

Again, Belle’s thoughts were interrupted by the Nevarran accent of the dark-haired woman, now known to her as Seeker Pentaghast, "We need to discuss with you the accommodations for the Divine."

"Of course, Seeker Pentaghast, right this way." And with that Mother Gwen began to lead the trio into the far back room. As they passed, Belle stole a peek from below her lashes wanting to get a closer look at them. At the same time apparently, the Commander had decided he wanted to get a closer look at the girl curiously scrubbing the floors. And for a moment Belle’s eyes met his, but this was quickly remedied as Belle snapped her eyes back down to the floor. She released an embarrassed huff of breath at being caught staring and felt the blood rush to her cheeks as they turned a light shade of crimson.


	2. Chapter 2

Belle finished cleaning the floor and was collecting her things when she heard the door to the back room of the Chantry click open. Apparently, she had finished right when the advisors and Mother Gwen had finished their discussion. Not wanting to get in their way or somehow relive her embarrassing moment from earlier. She hurried along in the collection of her things and made her way swiftly to the doors. She pulled one large door open and felt the cold breeze sweep through the Chantry.

 _Not quick enough_ she thought as she watched the advisors approach, close enough now for it to seem rude if she didn't hold the door for them. So, using her back to prop open the door she stood and waited for them. She made cautious eye contact with the two women who each gave her a slight nod and quick thanks. However, not being able to bring herself to look the Commander in the eye she dropped her gaze to the floor and waited for him to pass.

She felt her stomach drop as she watched his mud-coated boots stop right in front of her. Warily she raised her eyes to meet his, worried about what she might find there. Specifically, a look that said he knew she had been staring at him, and what she had been thinking, but instead, her gaze met kind, unjudging eyes. He nodded at her and with a heartfelt thank you, followed the two women out the door and down the path.

Letting out a gentle breath of relief Belle followed suit. She left the Chantry and walked down the well-trodden path leading off to the right. Lost deep in thought she didn't notice the two men walking towards her until one bumped her with his shoulder and muttered "stupid stone talker." The sudden jostle splashed the cold and now dirty water in the bucket all down the front of Belle's dress and sent the brush skittering to the ground.

She ignored the gruff mocking laughter of the two men behind her, as she picked up her brush and smoothed the now wet and dirty front of her dress before returning to walking down the path. She could feel her dress sticking to her stomach and the cool air turning the now damp material icy cold against her skin which sent a shiver down her spine.

This wasn't the first time someone had made fun of her for the way she talked, and she knew it wouldn't be the last. She was different and with that came nicknames, cruel jokes and mocking in no particular order. She'd been called far worse things than a stone talker and had decided long ago to not let it bother her.

She returned her cleaning supplies to their proper location and quickly changed out of her dirty, soaked dress. Before she made herself useful by helping the rest of the townspeople and the Mothers make the necessary preparations for the arrival of the Divine. Skipping lunch, she busied herself with cleaning and tidying just about everything, everywhere in Haven. She helped set up tents for the new arrivals who didn't fit in the now clean cabins, cleaned the stables, helped Master Taigen sort his recipes and take inventory of his supplies, noting that he asked her to gather some for him when she had time. Then she went to the Chantry to continue helping the Mothers tidy up. She acquired a large stack of papers from Mother Liesel who asked her to go through them and put them back in order, when she had the time.

By the time she had finished everything it had been an hour since the dinner bell rang, which was a new thing they were doing since so many extra people were in town. So, on tired feet, she made her way to the new tavern which had just been set up in one of the old cabins to help accommodate the new arrivals, and any people passing through on their way to the conclave. Tonight, and apparently every night until the conclave came to a close, they were serving food to anyone that wanted it.

It was dark and quiet as she made her way to the tavern with just the light of the two moons to illuminate Haven and the muffled sound of voices to fill the otherwise silent night. When she reached the door, she gave a gentle tug to open it and was subsequently hit with a rush of warm air as the open door sent the light from the candles and the sounds of laughter and music spilling out into the night. Making her way in and quickly shutting the door on the frigid night air behind her she made her way over to the bar surprised to find an open seat near the middle.

Only after she sat down did she realize why there was an open seat. To her right sat the Commander, absentmindedly stirring his spoon around in a half-eaten bowl of soup. Swallowing nervously, she turned her attention back to the front where the bartender, a young woman she had never seen before, was looking at her expectantly.

"I'm Flissa, I run this new tavern, what can I get you?"

"Hello Flissa, I'm Belle, well Annabelle but everyone just calls me Belle" she offered with a smile "I would love some dinner and a glass of water please."

Flissa's gentle smile turned into a frown at this point, as she hastily began to explain the situation. "I'm sorry we ran out of soup, I thought everyone had eaten… soo I let some people get seconds… I underestimated the number of people that would be here tonight, I'm very sorry."

Belle fought the urge to let a disappointed look creep across her face and instead offered a small smile. "That's alright, I'll just have the water then." At this Flissa gave her an apologetic look and nodded before turning to get her a glass.

As Belle was staring blankly ahead trying to ignore the hunger gnawing at her stomach she heard a scraping sound and looked down to see a bowl half full of soup being pushed in front of her. Looking at the bowl for a moment with a quizzical expression on her face she turned her head and offered that same look to the owner of the soup.

She met the kind eyes of the Commander as he offered a slightly uneasy explanation. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I overheard your conversation, I'm done with my meal, I wasn't very hungry, and if you would like the rest of it then it's yours."

Belle could feel her mouth hanging slightly agape as she listened to the Commander’s explanation. Dumbfounded and at a loss for words she simply nodded and offered a quiet thank you. He nodded back before giving her a small smile and getting up to leave.

Belle turned back towards the soup, in time to see Flissa place a glass full of water in front of her. "Now where did you get that then?" Flissa said eyeing the bowl in front of Belle.

Not wanting to make it a big deal, especially since it was the Commander who had given her his meal she replied with a simple "A kind man." before reaching for the clean spoon Flissa quickly placed in front of her and beginning to eat.


	3. Chapter 3

The flickering of the last dying candle was growing dimmer as Belle sat in now almost complete darkness on the floor of the empty Chantry. She was finishing putting the pages of Mother Liesel’s book back in order. She had forgotten all about it until she went to crawl into bed last night. She had gotten up with a start to tiptoe through the sleeping people that now shared her cabin. She had quietly gathered her cloak and the pages on the far side of the room before making her way to the Chantry to work, as not to disturb anyone.

Now it was, as best she could guess, early morning as she was putting the last few pages in order. Stretching with a yawn, she got up and gathered the pages in her arms. Being as careful as possible not to disturb any she made her way over to the desk, and left the pages stacked in a neat pile with a note on the top letting Mother Liesel know they were all done.

She draped her cloak over her shoulders and opened the door to step out into the early morning sunlight. Feeling the cold breeze wrap her hem around her ankles, she pulled her cloak even closer and started the short walk to the tavern.

Pushing the tavern door open she was hit with the smell of freshly baked bread and porridge causing her stomach to growl as she made her way inside. 

At the sound of the door opening Flissa looked up and a smile spread across her face when she realized who it was. "Didn't want to miss breakfast aye, Belle?" She said as Belle took a seat on the stool she had sat on the night before.

"Definitely not," Belle replied closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath, savoring the smell of the food. It smelled so good it made her mouth water. At the sound of a bowl clinking down in front of her, she opened her eyes and watched as Flissa broke off a piece of bread and placed it next to the bowl of porridge she had just given her.

When her actions were met with a questioning look, since the breakfast bell had not yet rung, Flissa shrugged, "The porridge was done early." She proceeded to turn and fill a glass with water before also placing that in front of Belle.

As Belle was spooning a second mouthful of porridge into her mouth the breakfast bell rang and soon the tavern was filling with the other hungry people of Haven. About halfway through her breakfast the Commander plopped down on the stool beside her and was quickly handed a bowl of porridge and a piece of bread. In an attempt to avoid an awkward encounter Belle did her best to ignore his presence and instead ate slightly faster trying to pay as little attention to the Commander as possible. 

Belle watched as Flissa seemed to take the same approach, it was nice to know that Belle wasn't the only one the Commander made nervous. Flissa began to quickly busy herself with things, like filling Belle's glass with water even though it was more than half full.

"Thank you Flissa" Belle managed to say around the porridge and bread she had just finished stuffing into her mouth, doing her best not to sound like she was talking with her mouthful. This warranted an amused yet slightly disgusted look from Flissa who now turned to face her after putting the water pitcher on the counter behind her.

“So, Belle where are you from?” She asked halfheartedly as she began to wipe down the counter with a damp cloth.

“Well I was born in a small town near Orzammar, but I’ve traveled around a lot,” Belle replied from behind the hand now covering her mouth, which muffled her speech a bit. She thought this was only appropriate as Flissa had put her in a tough spot by asking her a question while her mouth was still full.

“Oh, you’ve traveled? Ever been to Denerim?” She responded sounding a little more interested now.

“Yes, actually I spent a summer there a couple years back, Why?”

“I used to work at a tavern there, was just wondering if maybe I’d seen you.”

“I doubt it, I don’t drink much.”

“Oh…” said Flissa bringing the conversation to a halt and plunging them into an awkward silence. Apparently telling a bartender you don’t drink much, is a good way to end a conversation with them. After a few uncomfortable seconds of silence Flissa turned her back to the bar and found something more entertaining than Belle's conversational skills to busy herself with.

So, Belle finished the rest of her meal in silence a little quicker than necessary, as she was eager to get out of the tavern. When she had finished she thanked Flissa and shot a quick glance at the Commander who was stirring his spoon in his mostly finished porridge. Which she guessed was an improvement from half-finished. Then she made her way out of the tavern and back into the now only slightly less freezing morning air.

She wanted to go back to her room and sleep having gotten no sleep the night before as she was up sorting Mother Liesel's papers. But she quickly remembered that she had promised Master Taigen she would collect elfroot for him as his stock was running low and elfroot was in abundance around Haven. So, going back to her room only to gather her apron, dagger, and bag she set out to collect the ever so abundant plant.

In her tired state, she decided to only gather the elfroot she knew was growing within the walls of Haven. Which saved her the trouble of trudging through the deep snow she knew lay outside the large walls of the village. Starting at the far side of the Chantry she began to work her way around the small village gathering the leaves of each plant. Why you only gathered and used the leaves of a plant apparently named for its roots she didn't know.

She was making good progress and her bag was almost full as she started around the backs of the three cabins to the right of Haven's entrance, humming as she went. She could hear the loud voice of a man obviously answering questions about the safety of Haven, and other questions related to keeping the Divine safe during her stay. They were most likely directed to him from the Commander himself or his men. Right now, it seemed as if the questions were directed toward this part of Haven like the entrance and walls, explaining why they had chosen this place to talk. 

Belle rounded the corner of one of the cabins where she knew another shoot of elfroot was growing. She dropped to her knees as she continued to hum. She quickly flicked her dagger at the petioles holding the leaves to the stem before dropping them unceremoniously into her bag.

Only after she had placed the last leaf in her bag did she realize how quiet it had gotten all of a sudden. Bringing her eyes up from the plant she had so fervently been harvesting her gaze landed on a large muscular leg clad in leather about a foot from the plant she was kneeling before. As she filled with dread knowing full well whose leg it was, she slowly raised her eyes to the pair that were curiously, if not amusingly, looking down at her. When her eyes met his, a small smile pulled at the Commander’s lips making the scar at the corner of his mouth twitch. Dragging her eyes away from him she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she surveyed the other faces looking at her, especially the exasperated face of the man she assumed had been the one answering questions.

"Please Commander, ignore the stone talker and her incessant humming," the man said crossing his arms in front of him irritatedly "now if you would follow me we can continue our discussion elsewhere, uninterrupted." As he said the last word he shot a glare at Belle before turning on his heels and marching away. 

With that, the others gathered there slowly began to follow the man with the Commander bringing up the rear. He threw one last glance in her direction before disappearing with the others behind the side of the building.

Belle knelt there frozen for a minute completely horrified as she waited for the heat and what she knew to be the bright red color of her cheeks to fade. Finally, she slowly got up and walked out from behind the building only to almost run into a dwarf. 

The said dwarf was standing there with an amused look on his face and proceeded to speak in an accent not so different from her own. "I wondered how long it would take you to come out from back there Sunshine." He said with a knowing smile "I'm surprised you got the color out of your cheeks so quickly after that." And with that comment, Belle could feel the heat rising in her cheeks once again which elicited a low laugh from the dwarf. "Varric Tethras," he said introducing himself as he produced a hand that still managed to be larger than Belles, despite his height. "Rogue, storyteller, extravagant liar, and giver of nicknames." He added with a wink.

"Belle, well Annabelle but everyone calls me Belle," she replied, firmly grasping his hand adding, "it's nice to meet you Master Tethras" as she gave it a couple shakes.

He laughed at that putting his hands up in front of him "Please just call me Varric," he said with a smile. "Listen Sunshine I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't sweat Curly I think he likes you already." And with that, he winked at her again before turning and walking up the steps toward a couple of tents set up in the middle of Haven.

Still completely mortified and now confused from her interaction with the dwarf Belle made her way to the cabin where Master Taigen worked. She let herself in and dumped her bag into the chest that held his stock of elfroot. Once she was done she stopped by the Chantry only to ask Mother Liesel if she could wake her for dinner before going to her cabin to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Belle stood just outside the gates of Haven watching the Divine and many others slowly begin to ascend the path towards the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Today was the first day of the conclave and the air was almost tangible with the mixture of feelings that brought. Many were hopeful that the Divine would be able to make both the Templars and mages see reason and end the war and fighting amongst themselves, to come up with a more diplomatic and peaceful solution. However, many were also afraid that the conclave would fail and simply renew with vigor the fighting between the two parties. You could feel the shift in the atmosphere as soon as the Divine had arrived.... which Belle had managed to sleep through.

She had been awoken many hours after the Divines arrival and almost an hour after the dinner bell had rung by an apologetic and tired looking Mother Liesel. She had apologized profusely for waking her up late but had explained that ever since the Divine had arrived madness had descended upon Haven, with everyone wanting to see and talk to the woman.

And madness it was, when the Divine had arrived she had been ushered through Haven and the crowds that had formed and into the Chantry. Which had been closed to everyone except the Divine, her advisors, and the Mothers. So, the crowd had simply gathered outside of the Chantry to wait. They had only dispersed when the dinner bell rang and the Commander had shooed them away.

Luckily for Belle, however, who ate dinner as quickly as she could. Although she wasn't technically a Mother she did serve the Mothers and therefore the Chantry. So, she was allowed into the large building under the watchful and jealous gaze of the crowd which, had gathered again with renewed enthusiasm.

She walked about the Chantry helping the Mothers in any way she could. Until she was eventually sent into the side room which had now been turned into an office for the new Antivan ambassador, who had arrived with the Divine. She tidied and straighten the room, careful not to touch any of the important looking papers on the desk. As she was doing this she was startled by a voice coming from the doorway.

"You there you work for the Mothers here, yes?" Said the voice in an Orlesian accent, at this Belle turned quickly in surprise, almost knocking over the books she had just straightened. In the doorway stood Sister Leliana who had apparently been watching her with a curious yet cold gaze.

"Y-y-yes" stammered Belle trying not to physically wince at the pathetic way her voice came out. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but something was terrifying about this woman, and the last thing she wanted to do was anger her.

"Good, then I need your help. The Divine has asked for a certain book and since I do not know your library I need you to retrieve it for me, it's called...." Belle couldn't have repeated the name of the book even if her life depended on it. It was in another language which she didn't speak and certainly didn't understand. But after Sister Leliana's description of the cover, which she described as "looking like the constellation Visus with a sword through it,” Belle was sure she couldn't miss it.

Descending the stairs to the cold damp dungeon where the books of the Chantry were kept locked in a room to the side, Belle used the key she had acquired from Mother Gwen to unlock the door and began to peruse the books. Careful not to skip over any, she examined the cover of each book until she found the one that had been described to her. Over in the far corner of the room with so much dust on the cover it could hardly be recognized was the book.

Not until Belle had wiped the almost inch thick layer of dust off the cover, at the expense of the sleeve of her dress, did she realize she was holding the book she was looking for. _Must not be much of a page-turner_ she thought as she swiped the last bit of dust off the corner. She gave a gentle blow after for good measure, which she soon regretted as the dust her dress sleeve had missed came tumbling off the book in a small cloud of white prompting a gentle cough to escape her lips.

Realizing she had been gone looking for the book much longer than she intended, Belle took the stairs two at a time. She was still slightly out of breath by the time she reached the door to the back room of the Chantry, where the Divine and her advisors were waiting. Fearing she had taken too long to find the book, therefore, angering the very frightening Sister, she fought the urge to leave the book at the foot of the door, knock and run. Instead, she took in a deep breath, bit her lip and knocked on the old wooden door.

"Come in." Came the reply from the other side of the door in Sister Leliana's flowing Orlesian accent.

At that Belle pulled the door open grimacing at the loud creaking sound the movement produced before stepping into the well-lit room. She could feel everyone's eyes on her as she entered. Her cheeks turned a light shade of red at being the center of attention.

"Most Holy, the book you asked for." The sound of Sister Leliana's voice drug her back to reality as she watched the Sister gesture for her to place the book in front of the Divine. Keeping her head down and eyes to the floor, trying to draw as little attention to herself as possible, Belle crossed the small room. She gently placed the book down in front of who she assumed was the Divine and turned to leave as quickly as she had come in.

"Wait a moment child, what is your name?" Said a sweet and gentle voice from behind her when she had made it halfway across the room.

Turning around slowly, Belle made eye contact with the owner of the voice, Divine Justinia herself. "Um, Belle... well Annabelle but everyone just calls me Belle," She could hear herself begin to hastily and nervously ramble on and was helpless to stop it, fighting the urge to clamp her hand over her own mouth just to keep from embarrassing herself "so I guess you can call me Belle." She heard herself finish her voice diminishing into a quiet whisper before vanishing entirely. But despite her incessant ramblings the Divine just smiled genuinely at her causing the creases already around the eyes of the older woman to double.

"Well it’s nice to meet you, Belle," the older woman said once Belle’s voice had faded in a whisper. “I can tell you have the spirit of a servant, and that is a rare thing to find, especially in one so young."

Belle could feel the heat in her cheeks rise at the Divine’s…compliment? at least she was taking it as a compliment and smiled shyly at her before replying with a quiet "Thank you." Which received a nod from the Divine and feeling as if that meant she was dismissed Belle turned to quickly leave the room just as she had come in, with her head down and eyes to the floor. She only glanced up from below her lashes to steal a quick peek around the room to see how much damage she had done.

She recognized two of the other three women in the room, besides the Divine, as Seeker Pentaghast and of course Sister Leliana. So, she could only assume that the third women, a pretty tan skinned lady with thick black hair done up in braids and a frilly golden dress on was the newly arrived Ambassador. She watched as all four women returned to work almost immediately paying her no more attention.

Belle was about to let out a relieved breath when she noticed the fifth figure in the room, _of course it had to be the Commander how could she have forgotten about him_ , staring at her from behind the large table in the center of the room. His face had a rather neutral expression on it, but his eyes gave him away as they looked at her with knowing sympathy and amusement. Belle could feel her cheeks get even redder as she met his gaze which only seemed to intensify the amusement she found there. Dropping her eyes back to the floor she fought off the compulsion to put her hand up to block her face from the Commander’s view and instead settled for borderline running out of the room.

Belle felt as if any ounce of dignity she had left in the Commander’s eyes had been left on the floor in that back room and proceeded to trudge off to bed. She begged the Maker to allow her to sleep that night without first having to relive that embarrassing moment twenty times in her head.


	5. Chapter 5

Belle was standing at the edge of the frozen lake that lay just outside the walls of Haven when the world as she knew it came to an end. Earlier that day the Divine had left for the conclave and Haven had calmed down quite a bit since then. Standing in the snow with her back to the village she was enjoying her first moment of true peace since the news of the Divine’s arrival had reached Haven, taking in the pretty views and fresh, crisp, clean air of the Frostbacks. Until her moment of peace was interrupted by pure mayhem.

As she was watching the sunlight glint off the frozen waterfall across the lake, a blinding light of pure green originating from higher up in the Frostbacks flared across the sky, casting the world in a glow of otherworldly green. For a brief moment, the world went completely silent before it shook with a deafeningly loud sound, the loudest thing Belle had ever heard. She didn't have time to cover her ears as the explosion rocked the ground and sent pieces of whatever had exploded flying through the air, some of which landed in Haven crushing buildings and people alike. The shockwave knocked Belle over, and sent her sprawling onto her back sucking the air from her lungs.

Belle’s world went upside down and completely silent. Aside from the ringing in her ears, she could hear nothing. The pain in both of her ears was severe and she could feel something warm trickling down the side of her face, quickly being cooled by the mountain air. Reaching up she touched her fingers to the wetness before bringing her hand around to look at their red-stained tips. Recognizing that she wasn’t hurt too severely she wiped her fingers on the front of her dress and pushed herself up into a sitting position. Before taking inventory of herself and her surroundings.

Scanning her body Belle noted that other than her ears she seemed to be ok. Her surroundings, however, were a different story. She could see varying sized pieces of what appeared to be a building scattered around her. The air tingled with the lingering effects of magic and smelled of brimstone and ash. As the ringing in her ears subsided she could hear screams of terror and pain filling the air. When she looked up she was filled with horror. Where the Temple of Sacred Ashes had once stood was now an empty space with what appeared to be a hole in the sky directly above it.

Forcing herself to push past her own fear, realizing that there were people in far worse condition than her own who would need help, she stood up and looked around to see if there was anyone she could help in her general vicinity. About ten feet to her left she noticed a man trapped under a piece of large rubble who was struggling to get free. The man was crying out in pain as the wreckage had landed on his left leg promptly crushing it, pinning him where he lay.

Belle rushed over and tried to calm the panicked man with gentle words as she helplessly began to try and push what looked like the remnants of a stone wall off of him. The stone was sharp and surprisingly warm to the touch, it cut into her hands and shoulder as she futilely tried to move it off of the man, who screamed in pain anytime the stone shifted.

Belle could feel tears welling up in her eyes at how helpless she was to help the man, who had started quietly sobbing beneath her. As she went to give the stone one final push she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to find the Commander standing next to her, looking unfazed by the situation.

"I can't help him." She told him in a quiet pain filled voice as she felt the tears begin to run down her ash covered face, drawing white lines in the dirt that covered her cheeks.

As he looked at her the Commander’s face shifted into a pained, empathetic expression while he gently moved her out of the way. He broke eye contact to turn and heave the piece of giant stone wall off of the man.

He turned back to her again placing his large gloved hand on her shoulder. "Can you get this man to the healer’s?" He barely gave Belle enough time to nod before reassuringly squeezing her shoulder one final time and walking off yelling in a loud authoritative voice above the chaos for his troops.

Belle helped the man up and draped his left arm around her neck, allowing him to lean on her as they slowly made their way over to the gates. She could hear the Commander shouting out orders behind her and glanced back just in time to see him charging up the path to the Temple with his troops.

She set up a quick prayer to the Maker to keep him and his men safe as they continued on through Haven. She dropped the man off at the healer’s tent, which was already filling up with injured people, before making herself busy helping wherever she could.

Hours after the breach in the sky had opened, Belle watched some of the Commander’s men carry into Haven the lone survivor of the explosion at the conclave, a young woman whose hand glowed with the same sickening green as the sky. Word quickly spread through Haven that she was the one who had caused the explosion. The one who was responsible for all of the death and destruction. The one who had murdered the Divine.

While the other people of Haven had already seemed to determine the young woman's guilt, Belle wasn't as convinced. There had been rumors that she had fallen out of the fade clinging to life and that the mark on her hand was killing her. Why would someone do that to themselves? Whoever had caused the explosion had to have a motivation, so what was hers? No one knew who she was, she wasn't even a mage or Templar. Belle couldn't shake the feeling that they had this all wrong, but who was she to judge, she held no pull in all of this, no power to influence the outcome. Instead, she kept herself busy over the next three days, never sleeping, barely having time to even sit down in between helping in the healer’s tent and aiding with the cleanup and rebuilding of Haven.

In the late afternoon three days after Belle had watched the soldiers bring the young woman down into the basement of the chantry, apparently that's what the dungeon was for, she watched as Seeker Pentaghast brought her back up. She caught a glimpse of the Seeker leaving the gates of Haven with the prisoner in tow as she was coming out of the healer’s tent on her way to ask Adan for more potions.

She didn't know why the Seeker would leave Haven with the prisoner until she saw the breach pulse in the sky before shrinking. News around Haven spread that it was the prisoners doing, and that she was the Herald of Andraste sent to save them all.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a week since the conclave. A week since the Divine’s death. A week since the prisoner turned Herald of Andraste had stabilized the breach and saved them all, at least for the moment, and things were finally starting to go back to normal. Well, as normal as they could be with everything that had happened. The Herald had left earlier in the week for the Hinterlands to make contact with a Mother there and acquire mounts from the horse master for the Inquisition. Which was the organization that had been set up after the conclave by the left and right hands of the Divine to restore order and peace to Thedas. The same organization that had claimed Haven as its base of operations. The one Belle had inadvertently joined by simply being present in Haven at the time. Not that she was complaining, if the Inquisition’s purpose was to truly restore peace and order to Thedas then Belle was happy to help.

At the moment, however, Belle was having trouble with the whole “ _happy_ ” part of that. As she was being barked at by Mother Gwen to make herself useful and bang out the rugs of the Chantry. Ever since the conclave Chancellor Roderick, who had made little appearance before that and had never lifted a finger to help previously, had appointed himself head of Haven’s Chantry. This had angered all of the Mothers there, especially Mother Gwen. Which in turn had made things a little more tense in the Chantry, and made Belle’s life that much more difficult. So, biting her tongue on the quick remark she had half the mind to give Mother Gwen, she all but snatch the rugs from the Mother’s hands and went outside to bang them. Why they even needed to bang the rugs when the world was probably going to end anyway she didn’t know.

Lost in her thoughts as she banged the rugs out a little more forcefully than necessary she didn’t notice the Commander walking up the path in front of her. Not until he was stopped a couple of feet away, coughing and waving a gloved hand in front of himself to clear the dust, did she notice him. Hearing him cough she brought the rug down in front of herself to peek over the top of it. Upon seeing the Commander she winced and lowered the rug further as she looked at him.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there sir.” She offered, cringing as she watched his hand continue to fan away the dust in front of him.

“It’s alright, just don’t let it happen again.”

She would have felt even worse at that reply, as she was seemingly being lectured by the Commander of the Inquisitions forces. If not for what she had just seen flash across his face. A look of almost amusement had flickered briefly in his eyes as he had said that, hinting at it being a joke. Was the Commander teasing her? She had little time to react as he was already moving away from her, walking by her on his way into the Chantry. Trying to ignore the interaction and the feelings of confusion it had brought Belle continued her job. She finished banging out the rugs before returning them to the Chantry and acquiring a large load of laundry to do from Mother Liesel.

Supporting the load of laundry on her hip Belle began to make her way over to the bath house. As she walked down the steps, being as careful as possible because of their tendency to be icy, a man was making his way up. Upon seeing her he changed his direction slightly so he could walk right by her.

“Watch your step dwarf lady!” Was all she heard before she felt a shove on her shoulder and her world turned upside down, as she bounced down the last few steps on her bottom. The basket she had been carrying fell down beside her. The clothes that it had held were no longer inside as they had been strewn about by the fall.

“Ow!” was all she could manage as she sat up looking around at the mess she had made.

“Are you alright?”

As Belle looked up to see where the question had come from a large gloved hand appeared in her view. “I’m fine, thank you.” She said placing her much smaller hand in the palm of the larger one. She gave a small yelp of surprise as she was pulled to her feet in one swift movement, and came face to face with the Commander. Well, it was more like face to chest as he was quite a bit taller than her.

The Commander had apparently miscalculated. As when he had helped her to her feet he had practically pulled her into his arms, his chest was now just inches from her nose. They stood frozen like that for a minute, and Belle felt the heat begin to rise in her cheeks. The Commander finally let go of her hand and took a large step back as his other hand came up to rub the back of his neck a blush spreading across his cheeks. _At least I'm not the only one that's blushing,_ Belle thought.

“I…um…. uh…. let me help you with those.” He stuttered out, before stooping to gather the clothes that lay scattered around them. Belle took this moment while his eyes were diverted to quickly rub her sore backside before he stood back up. He placed the clothes back into the basket and handed it to her.

“Oh, thank you” she said before they stood awkwardly in silence for a moment looking at each other.

“Does that happen often?” The Commander said finally breaking the silence.

“What, me falling down the stairs? More often than I would like to admit.” She responded with a huff of a laugh, prompting a laugh from him as well which seemed to help ease the awkwardness between them.

“No, I meant the name calling, are you treated like that often?”

“Oh…” at this Belle looked down “it’s not that bad, I’m used to it." She continued giving a gentle shake of her head.

“That’s not what I asked." he said in a gentle tone bending his head forward in an attempt to catch her gaze.

But unwilling to look at him Belle turned her head to the side keeping her eyes on the ground. “I’m different, and people just don’t know how to react to it, it’s not a big deal.”

“Last I checked, having a unique accent didn't make it ok for people to make fun of you and call you names, and it especially doesn’t excuse them pushing you down the stairs.”

At his reply, Belle looked up at him catching not only the fact that he knew exactly why she was being made fun of. No that it wasn’t blatantly obvious or anything. But also the fact that he had seen that she didn’t fall down the stairs merely because of her own clumsiness.

“I think calling it ' _unique_ ' is a kind way of putting it sir.” She said, again dropping her gaze to the ground. “My accent is weird and I only know a handful of people who sound the same as I do and they’re all from my town.”

“Well, being rare, or at least having a rare quality isn’t usually a bad thing.”

At this Belle slowly looked up, he was looking at her with a kind expression on his face, the multi-colored light from the sunset behind her making his eyes change color. Not having anything to say to his comment they stood in silence staring at each other much longer than necessary.

Belle felt herself begin to fidget under his gaze, and broke the silence. "Well, I’m sure you have important things you need to do…”

“Yes, I should…” he gestured behind himself.

“Yeah, and I have to…” Belle interrupted gesturing to the laundry and the bathhouse behind her. “Thank you again, Commander.” She added before finally turning to leave.

Belle cast one last glance behind herself before entering the bathhouse. The Commander was still standing there watching her, his face reddening and his eyes quickly looking away in embarrassment at being caught staring. At this Belle suppressed a giggle feeling herself blush as well. She was thankful that she would soon have the heat from the bathhouse to blame for the color in her cheeks.


	7. Chapter 7

“Belle……. Belle?”

Belle was lying on top of her blankets on the cold stone dungeon floor in the basement of the Chantry. She was listening to Mother Liesel call her name down the stairs through the darkness. Rubbing one hand over her tired face she called to the Mother that she would be up in a minute before forcing herself out of bed and off the floor. It was hard enough to feel well rested when your bed was the floor of a dungeon. Let alone when the Mother’s always apparently needed you at some Maker forsaken hour of the morning.

Pushing her tiredness aside Belle sluggishly and clumsily, as she was too lazy to light a candle, climbed the stairs to the Chantry, and found Mother Liesel standing outside of the basement door. The Mother, who was suffering from another one of her headaches, wanted to know if Belle could make her one of her famous teas that was known for curing such ailments.

Not being able to say no to such a genuine plea, Belle immediately pulled on her cloak and started to make her way out of the Chantry and to the tavern. She noted that she could hear voices coming from the back room of the Chantry, now called the war room, signaling that the Herald was back from the Hinterlands.

After receiving permission from Flissa to use her supplies and kitchen, Belle put together her concoction. It consisted of honey, lemon, ginger, feverfew, and elfroot. She then made her way back over to the Chantry with the steaming cup of tea in hand. As she reached the main doors the advisors and Herald were just coming out. She waited for everyone to exit before moving to make her way into the Chantry. She immediately ran teacup first into a broad metal clad chest.

She heard a surprised “Maker’s Breath!!” and let out a squeal of surprise and pain of her own as the hot tea from the cup splashed down the front of her. Belle stumbled backward dropping the cup in the process, and smashing it all over the ground. Looking up she met the startled eyes of the Commander who was now soaked in tea.

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry sir!” She said as she frantically began to try to dry him off. She removed her cloak to blot at the tea now covering the metal on his chest. “Please forgive me I didn’t see you.” 

Finally looking up she met his eyes as he curiously watched her trying to dry him off. Realizing she had first spilled tea on him and was now touching him without his permission she quickly stopped what she was doing and stepped away. She eyed him uncomfortably before shoving her now wet cloak into his hands.

“Here, you can dry yourself off with this.” 

She then bent down and made herself useful by picking up the pieces of what used to be a teacup off of the ground in an attempt to hide the blush now covering her cheeks.

As she went to pick up one of the larger pieces her middle finger slid down the sharp edge and it cut a jagged line down the underside of her finger from the second knuckle to the tip. She cried out in pain as she brought her other hand over to clutch at her finger. She could feel the warm blood trickling down her hand and watched as it drip onto the ground beneath her, creating red spots in the snow.

“Are you alright?” Came the Commander’s concerned voice from above her.

“I’m fine,” she said brushing off his concern in a slightly pained voice as she quickly gathered the rest of the pieces in her apron and stood. She curled her injured hand into a fist and put it behind her back to hide it from his view. But he wasn’t looking at her, instead, his eyes were fixed on the ground, specifically on the bright red spots she had left in the snow.

“Let me see it.” He said bringing his eyes up to meet hers. 

“See what?” Belle replied feigning ignorance.

It took the Commander giving her a “you know exactly what I mean” look before Belle produced her hand from behind her back still closed tightly in a fist. The blood that had pooled in her palm was now overflowing and running out the side of it dripping onto the ground. Using one gloved hand to support hers he gently used the other to uncurl her fingers eliciting a quiet whimper from her. He brought his face closer to her hand to examine the cut thoroughly before he pulled back and took out a handkerchief from behind him. He used it to gently but tightly wrap her finger, which caused her to cry out softly in pain.

Tenderly closing her hand back into a fist, he looked her in the eyes. “You need to get this looked at by the healer it’s quite deep.” Belle nodded, even though she had no intention of going to the healer.

As he let go of her hand he straightened narrowing his eyes at her knowingly. He opened his mouth to say something but Belle cut him off. "Well I better go. I have to make another cup of tea.” She began to slowly back away from him gesturing behind her to the tavern.

“Wait, what kind of tea was that I’ve never smelt anything like it.” He said holding up a hand to stop her movements.

“Oh, it was my famous tea for headaches, Mother Liesel always asks for a cup when she’s suffering from one, best not to keep her waiting.” And with that Belle turned and walked back to the tavern, resisting the urge to glance behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it seems like they're running into each other around every corner, but what's the fun in it if they don't.


	8. Chapter 8

After explaining to a slightly irritated Flissa how she broke the cup, Belle was allowed to make the Mother another cup of tea. Which she managed to deliver this time without any mishaps. She was then informed by one of the Mother’s that Garrett, one of the only people besides the Mothers who didn’t mock her for her accent, had come to the Chantry looking for her. He had told the Mothers to inform Belle that she was invited down to the stables to see the new horses whenever she was free.

Excitedly Belle quickly made her way down to the stables almost skipping as she went. She loved horses and Garrett knew that being one of the stable boys she saw him every time she went to visit them. When she got to the stables Garrett was in the outside stall with a new horse that looked anything but happy.

“Hello Garrett!” She called out to him when she was in earshot.

He looked up from cleaning the back hoof of the horse and smiled at her, “Hello Belle! I see the Mothers finally let you out of their unrelenting grasp for a moment.”

“Oh Garrett, they’re not that bad, besides I really don’t mind, and… I am technically here to serve them.” She reminded him.

“Maybe, but they don’t have to treat you like a servant. You’re not actually the help, you’re there by choice and stay out of the kindness of your heart. They don’t even pay you.”

“They pay me with a place to stay, food and the Makers blessing, and that’s enough for me. Now what did you call me down here for? I hope not just another lecture about the Mother’s.”

“No, not just another lecture. I wanted to show you the new horses. The Herald got Master Dennet to provide us with his best mounts and he’s coming with them. We expect him to arrive in a couple days or so.” Garrett said as he moved to the other back hoof of the horse who was looking increasingly unhappy.

Belle moved around to the other side of the fence so she could keep talking to Garrett without the horse in the way. “That’s wonderful…. um, Garrett, that horse doesn’t look happy maybe you should stop what you’re doing and come out of there.”

“What? No, its fine he’s just a little grumpy.” Came the muffled reply as Garrett put his cleaning tool in his mouth so he could use both of his hands on the horse’s hoof.

But looking at the horse’s face and body language Belle wasn’t convinced. “No Garrett I _really_ think you should come out of there he looks like he wants to kick.”

As Belle finished her sentence she watched as in almost slow motion the horse started to rear up. Knowing that if the horse landed the kick it would hit Garrett in the head and could possibly kill him Belle reacted. She scrambled under the fence and ran towards Garrett. She hit him in the side and pushed him out of the way right before the horse’s hooves made contact with her side, throwing her up against Haven’s wall.

As she hit the wall Belle slumped down, her legs crumpled beneath her, and the pain in her side was excruciating. All the air had left Belle’s lungs on impact and she was gasping for breath which just intensified the pain in her side. She could hear Garrett yelling for help over the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. She filled with dread knowing it wouldn’t come in time as she watched the horse rear up to kick again.

Belle braced herself for the impact of the horse’s hooves…which never came. Instead she heard a soft “Oof” from above her accompanied by the sound of something hitting metal. Belle slowly opened her eyes as she felt someone’s breath tickle her forehead. When she looked up she saw the Commander braced against the wall protectively over her.

Realizing he had taken the full force of the horse's kick for her she looked up at him in concern. “Are you ok?”

When he heard her speak he startlingly looked down at her pulling his head back slightly from the wall so he could see her. “Me? I-I’m fine. Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

“But, didn’t the horse just kick you?” She replied looking up at him in confusion.

“Yes… but I have a metal chest piece on. It felt like nothing more than a hard shove. I’m perfectly fine.” He replied sharing her look of confusion which quickly shifted to concern as he looked down over her crumpled body “Although I don’t think the same can be said for you.”

“Oh no, I’m ok.” She said as she tried to get up, seeing now that the horse had been detained and hearing Garrett tell her it was safe. As the Commander got up and stepped away, to give her room, his hands reached for her as he tried to help, but she just shooed him away. “I’m fine, really.” She started to say as she braced herself against the wall and tried to stand. She sucked in a shaky breath before keeling over in pain.

“I don’t think so.” The Commander said as he reached over to support her to help her stand.

He tried to get her to drape her arm around his neck so he could help her walk, since she had absolutely refused to be carried, but she refused that too. So instead he seemed to settle for walking beside her, with one hand under her elbow and the other splayed on her lower back. As he helped her slowly make her way to the healer’s tent.

“This is the second time today I’ve had to help you after you’ve hurt yourself, it’s really cutting into my busy schedule.” He said breaking the silence as they made their way through Haven’s gates.

“I-I-I’m so sorry sir, I never meant to…I mean you don’t have to help me.” She stammered a sharp pang hitting her heart at the thought of being a hindrance to him while she tried to pull herself from his grasp. But his hand just tightened on her elbow, in confusion she looked up to search his face for an explanation. Belle was caught off guard by what she found there. His eyes were gentle as they looked at her, with a hint of amusement behind them as a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Belle's expression somehow became even more confused, which warranted a soft chuckle from the Commander. "I’m only joking, the distraction has been a welcome one… not that I’m happy you got hurt… I mean, of course, I’m not happy you were injured I just mean…um…” He trailed off and let go of her elbow to bring his hand up to rub the back of his neck as he looked away from her.

Now it was Belle’s turn to laugh which instead turned into a strangled cry of pain as the motion caused her side to throb. This brought the Commander’s attention immediately back to her. He looked at her in concern as his hand came back to her elbow.

“I’m alright, that was supposed to be a laugh, don’t worry Commander I know what you mean.” She offered with a smile, to which he smiled back shyly and continued to help her to the healer’s tent.

Just before they reached the tent the Commander stopped and looked at her. “You know I never caught your name, after running into you so many times I’m embarrassed to think that I never thought to ask.”

Belle cringed at the mention of the word “ _run_ ” remembering how she had quite literally run into him earlier that day. “My name’s Belle, well it’s actually Annabelle but everyone just calls me Belle. I’d offer you my hand but you’re already holding onto one arm and the others clutching my side at the moment, I’m sure you understand.”

He laughed at this, an endearing chuckle, that did something to Belle's heart, before looking at her. “Well Belle it’s nice to finally official meet you, I know you already know who I am but since you’re not one of my men you can call me Cullen if you’d like.”

Belle’s heart did an unnecessary flip at this, which she ignored making a mental note to shun herself for the feeling later. “Well it’s nice to finally officially meet you too Commander Cullen.” At this, the Commander just smiled and shook his head before lifting up the tent flap and helping her inside.

“Well, well, well what do we have here.” The healer said as she came out from one of the back rooms inside the quite expansive tent.

“Hello, healer Rachel.”

“Hello Belle," she smiled at Belle before noticing the Commander and nodding to him, "Commander, what seems to be the problem?”

“She was kicked by a horse, I think it broke a few of her ribs.” The Commander answered for Belle as he brought her around to sit on the nearest cot.

“A horse? Now how did that happen?” The healer inquired coming over to kneel in front of Belle.

“She was trying to be a hero.” The Commander again answered for her from his position behind the healer, crossing his arms and giving her a look.

“I was a hero, thank you." She said addressing him first before turning to talk to the healer "I pushed Garret out of the way of the horse’s kick which would have hit him in the head.”

“And got yourself kicked instead I see.” The healer retorted standing up to come around the back of Belle, her fingers began to work on the laces of Belle’s dress.

This brought a nervous look to the Commander’s face “I should probably leave you in the hands of our capable healer, I will see you later Belle. Take good care of her healer, she’s a hero.” He said the last part in a teasingly sarcastic way before moving to exit the tent, but he stopped directly in front of the door. He turned around and first looked to Belle’s hand and then to the healer. “And healer if you could also look at her hand. She cut it earlier and I have a feeling she never came to see you about it.”

“No, she did not.” Said the healer in a lecturing tone from behind Belle, who simply watched as the Commander gave her a smug smile before opening the flap and leaving her alone with the healer.


	9. Chapter 9

It had been a little over a week since Belle's unfortunate run-in with the horse and her ribs seemed to be healing nicely. She could now breath and walk without collapsing in pain which was a major improvement. In her improved state, she decided she could start helping around Haven again and when she had heard Master Adan and Threnn had been looking for help she went to talk to each of them.

Master Adan informed her that the Herald, who had just returned from gallivanting around Val Royeaux, had asked him to make her some more regeneration potions. Which apparently required a large amount of elfroot, and he needed someone to go collect it for him as he was much too busy to leave his cabin and do it himself. He also added that while she was out if she could stop by Master Taigen's old cabin and look for his notes that would be much appreciated. While Threnn informed her that she needed someone to go out past Master Taigen's cabin and mark the old logging stand that was back there for the troops so she could fill her requisition.

Belle figured that she could kill three birds with one stone and decided to head out past Haven's walls to accomplish her tasks. As she was walking past the troops she could see the Commander talking with the Herald.

As she got closer she could just make out what the Commander was saying, "Makers Breath...... can we speak of something else?” She watched as his hand came up to rub the back of his neck as he blushed profusely. Belle felt a twinge of jealousy as she watched his reaction to whatever he and the Herald were talking about but quickly berated herself for it.

Why shouldn't the Commander like the Herald she was everything Belle wasn't. She was beautiful, came from a noble family and apparently was now the chosen of Andraste. While Belle was at best average in good lighting, a nobody and was practically a servant girl. How could Belle compete? Of course, the Commander would be drawn to the beautiful Herald of Andraste over her, it was only common sense.

Pushing aside her feelings Belle trudged up the path to Master Taigen's cabin. She collected as much elfroot as she could along the way. When she reached the cabin, she pushed open the door and began rummaging through the things he had left behind. Before she finally found his notes on top of a dresser in the side room. Then, she left the cabin and made her way around to the back of it and began looking for the logging stand Threnn had mentioned. She found it a little way past the cabin to the right and pushed the marker she had been given into the ground in the middle of it.

As she turned to leave Belle heard a low growl coming from the bushes behind her. She turned around and found herself face to face with a wolf. There was only one, which she thought was quite strange, but she was thankful for that as she had a better chance of getting away. It was large, larger than she thought they would be up close and had flecks of grey and brown woven throughout its otherwise black coat. The only wolves she had ever seen had been at a great distance. It gave a low guttural growl, snarling as it stalked towards her, like a predator hunting its prey. _Well I guess it is hunting its prey_ , Belle thought as she took a couple tentative steps backward, _I'm the prey_. As she began to back away slowly Belle realized with dread that for every step she took, the wolf took two quickly drawing closer to her.

Realizing she wasn't going to get away like this Belle dropped her things and began to run, but she only made it a few steps before she felt the wolf's teeth close around her right ankle. As she landed on her face she was drug backward. Her ribs ached as she desperately clawed at the snow and tried to get away.

As the wolf released her ankle she flipped over onto her back to face it, but before she could react the wolf lunged forward and sank its teeth into the top of her left thigh causing her to scream in pain. As the wolf released her thigh Belle could feel the blood spurting out of the wound and soaking her dress. She watched as the wolf lunged forward again this time aiming for her neck and helpless to do anything else Belle covered her face with her arms, and closed her eyes.

But instead of feeling the wolf's teeth around her throat she heard the wolf snarl before howling in pain. She opened her eyes and looked up just in time to see the Commander drive his sword through the wolf's side. He pulled his sword from the wolf’s now limp body and wiped it on his leg before sheathing it and quickly rushing to her side.

"Belle... Maker's Breath! Don't worry everything will be alright." His words were said in a convincing enough tone but Belle had seen the look of panic that had briefly flicker across his face as he took in the scene before him. Before it was quickly replaced with calm, cool composure.

Her dress was ripped and blood was oozing out of her thigh wound to soak into the ground around her. It was turning the snow that surrounded her lower body a dark crimson. She could feel her consciousness slowly fading away and was doing everything she could to stay awake.

She watched as the Commander took off his belt and hiked up her dress with a quick "sorry." He wrapped it just above the wound on her thigh and synched it tight, which made Belle cry out in pain.

"I'm sorry but it will help stop the bleeding." He quickly explained as he pulled her dress back down over her before gently lifting her into his arms, and cradling her against his chest.

As he began to walk away Belle pointed to her bag and notes. "Wait, my things."

He turned to look where she was pointing and barely paused for a second before continuing on as he explained, "I'll come back for your things later, right now we need to get you to the healers."

"How did you know I was out here?" He looked down at her as she feebly asked the question.

"I saw you walk into the woods and I told my second in command, Captain Rylen, to let me know if you didn't come back out. When he told me you had not returned after a while, I came to look for you and came running when I heard you scream. Luckily it seems I was just in time."

Belle tried her best to listen to his response but was having a hard time focusing as her world was slowly turning black. Her eyes were almost closed when she was gently shaken. She heard the Commander call her name above her, and looked up at him.

"Belle, you have to stay awake, ok you can't sleep, not yet. Talk to me."

"I'm cold" was her response and he looked down at her frowning.

"I know, I'm sorry it's because of all the blood you've lost.

"No," she responded in a shaky voice "it's because _someone_ hasn't returned the cloak I gave him to wipe up the tea he made me spill when _he_ ran into _me_."

At this, the Commander looked down at her a little startled before gently laughing. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was my fault that _you_ ran into _me_ , but I will return your cloak as soon as I can, and I promise it will be clean and dry."

"Good" was all Belle could muster before her world went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, damsel in distress again, but who doesn't love a good damsel in distress being rescued by a handsome man.


	10. Chapter 10

Three days after her scrap with the wolf Belle woke up in the healer’s tent. After a couple more days and a lot of persuasion, the healer finally let her leave, with a pair of crutches and instructions to return every day to change her dressings. Returning to change her dressings was easy, as she didn't want to get an infection, but using the crutches was another story. Belle hated them, they chaffed her arms and kept getting stuck in the snow, not to mention she almost fell countless times on them when they hit a slick spot.

So, finally fed up with them she decided to leave them in her room, and instead hopped her way out of Haven and over to where the soldiers were practicing. She knew the Commander wouldn't be there as she had heard him arguing outside the Chantry with Chancellor Roderick. She wanted to ask one of his men what she could do to thank him for saving her life. Nothing would be enough but she felt compelled to at least do something, no matter how small the gesture.

She found the man who appeared to be in charge surveying the men from the sidelines occasionally barking out orders and tentatively asked him. "Excuse me, sorry to bother you but would you by any chance be Captain Rylen?"

"As a matter a fact I would be, what can I do for you lass?"

To her surprise, her question was met with friendly regard and a small smile. "Oh, um, I'm Belle and I was wondering if you could tell me anything about the Commander."

"Ooh, you're one of those lasses." He replied with a wink and a knowing smile.

"One of those…?" Belle trailed off for a moment in thought until his intended meaning hit her. "Oh, no, no, the Commander saved my life, and I wanted to find some way to say thank you."

"Oh.... wait you're _that_ Belle? The one with the wolf? Yeah, ok I remember you, you gave the Commander quite a scare. He came back that day soaked in blood saying he'd been sent from the healer’s tent because of his incessant pacing. He wouldn't sit down, he just kept pacing and saying he should have warned you or gone with you. He blamed himself for what happened. He didn't calm down until the healer said you would be fine."

"Oh..." Belle trailed off for a moment in thought. He had been worried about her, had even blamed himself for what had happened. She definitely had to do something to say thank you for all of his trouble. she looked up to find Captain Rylen watching her expectantly. "Oh, sorry yes I'm _that_ Belle, do you think you can help me?"

"I believe I can." And with that Captain Rylen gave her a list of things he knew the Commander liked.

After thanking Rylen, Belle went to stand on the bank of the frozen lake. She was so deep in thought that she was startled when she heard a voice behind her.

"The healer finally let you out I see."

With a start Belle whipped around and almost fell over from the motion. She put her hand up to dissuade the Commander when he moved forward to help her.

"What are you doing down here? You can barely keep your balance. Should you be up and walking around like this?"

"Well, the healer gave me a pair of crutches but I don't like them, so I left them in my room." This got a scolding look from the Commander as he came closer to her.

"Belle how do you expect to get better like this?" He stood next to her and draped her left arm around his neck, before wrapping the arm closest to her around her waist and coaxing her to walk. "Come on we're going to get your crutches, where is your room?"

"I'll show you if you insist."

"Oh, I most definitely insist.... wait here a moment." They stopped directly outside of a tent and he left her to hang onto the edge as he went inside. He emerged a few moments later with a red piece of cloth in his hands, which he then draped around her shoulders.

"My cloak!" Belle said with a smile as she felt the material beneath her fingers. It was clean and dry just as he promised and, oh Maker preserve her! It smelled just like him.

"Yes, just as I promised. Um, Belle if you don't mind me asking why didn't you just wear another cloak until I could return yours?"

"Oh, this is the only cloak I own. The Mothers gave it to me when I arrived here."

"Well, if we are to stay here then might I suggest investing in another one."

"I would, but I don't have any money to buy another one." She continued as they made their way slowly across Haven toward the Chantry.

"Don't the Mothers pay you? You do work for them yes?" He asked in a surprised tone.

"Yes, I do technically work for them, but they pay me with food, a place to stay, and the Makers blessing. That's how it's always been, at ever Chantry I've worked at."

"So, this isn't your first posting? How did you come to work for the Chantry in such a way? I've never heard of such an arrangement?”

"Oh no, I've been doing this since I was eighteen, they change my post every few months or so. They like to share me apparently. I've been posted all over Ferelden. I'm the only one with this kind of job that I know of. The Chantry was everything to me when I was young and when I came of age I decided to serve it, just not in a conventional way."

"You're older than eighteen?" He said in a slightly surprised but mostly teasing tone.

Belle laughed at this, the fact that her age was the thing that stood out the most to him amused her, "Yes I know it's hard to believe, and since I know you'll never ask I'm 25."

"Oh, that's not so old." He said to her with a smile.

"Mhmm, says the guy who can't be much older than me."

"If you must know I'm 30."

"Well, that's not so bad." She gave him the same smile he had given her as they made their way into the Chantry. They walked past Mother Giselle on her way out of the Chantry, the Mother the Herald had brought back from the Hinterlands, who regarded them with mild curiosity.

Belle gestured to the side door leading to the basement. This caused the Commanders face to pinch in confusion. "I didn't realize there was a side room back there." He said helping her over to the door.

Belle winced, "Um, yeah something like that."

As they made their way down the stairs Belle watched realization dawn on the Commander's face. "You sleep in the dungeon?!"

Belle cringed as he turned his head to look at her, "Um....maybe?"

"Belle! Why are you sleeping in the dungeon!?" Now he turned his full body towards her. He removed her arm from his neck and held her elbow to help her balance.

"They needed my cabin for the Herald. Everyone else that was in there found other spaces, but when I looked everywhere else was already full so...." she explained hastily before trailing off.

"Oh, Belle..." he rubbed a gloved hand over his face, "You can't stay down here, I can't believe you've let this go on for so long. Do the Mother's know?"

"Yes of course they know, they seem to enjoy having me so close."

The Commander made an annoyed sound as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "If I had half the mind to I'd let the Mothers know what I think of them allowing you to sleep in the basement." Letting out a huff of breath he continued, "I will find you somewhere else to stay as soon as I can."

"Please Commander don't worry yourself over this, it's fine, really."

"This is anything but fine." Finally stooping down to help her again the Commander walked her over to where her crutches were leaning against the wall.

"Commander? Did I just see you come down here? We're meeting in the war room in five minutes, meet us there when you come up." The Herald's voice came from the top of the stairs and startled them both.

She watched as with a torn expression the Commander looked from her to the stairs and back again.

"Go," when he didn't move she continued, "Go on, best not to keep her waiting."

He turned to go before hesitating, he looked back at her, "Can you make it up the stairs by yourself?"

"Yes, I'm fine, now go." She assured him shooing him up the stairs with her hands.

Turning to gather her crutches a pang hit her heart, she tried to assure herself he was just leaving because it was his duty but she knew better than that.


	11. Chapter 11

Belle spent the next two days asking everyone in Haven if they knew how to make the famous Honnleath pie Captain Rylen had spoken of. He had told her that the Commander was originally from Honnleath and that he might appreciate a taste of home. So, she had set out to find the best recipe for Honnleath pie, she couldn't remember the actual name for it, that she could. Finally, she came across an elderly woman that just so happened to have a recipe for the pie she wanted to make, which the older woman informed her was called royal pie, named after its main ingredient, royal elfroot.

However, that main ingredient turned out to be Belle's biggest problem. No one had royal elfroot in their stock, not Flissa, nor Threnn, not even Master Adan. She went as far as seeing if she could get some from Seggrit, even though she absolutely hated being around the man as she found him to be quite shady, with no luck. She tried to tell herself that she had expended every available resource in Haven, however, she knew that wasn't true. There was one more person Belle knew she could ask and she was dreading it.

"Um excuse me, Lady Herald?" Belle had found the Herald during a rare moment of peace praying in the Chantry. Apparently, she was a believer, and after everything that had happened to her Belle wasn't surprised.

At the sound of the voice behind her, the Herald stood slowly and turned to face Belle.

"I'm very sorry to disturb you, um you probably don't know who I am but I'm-"

"Belle, right? The one that had the unfortunate incident with the wolf?"

Did everyone know about that?! Is this how she would ultimately be remembered. Belle suppressed a groan and instead smiled at the Herald when she answered. "Yes, that's me the Belle with the wolf." Although Belle was sure she was the only "Belle" in Haven. "May I ask how you know who I am?"

"Oh sorry, yes, the Commander spoke of you."

"Oh..." The Commander had spoken of her, to the Herald? She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"Did you need something Belle?" The Herald's melodic voice interrupted her train of thought.

"Oh right, yes, I was wondering if by any chance you had some royal elfroot, or at least know of somewhere I could get some."

"Yes actually, I do. You're in luck I have some in my personal stash that you are welcome to."

"Really? I-I mean thank you, Lady Herald."

"May I ask why you need royal elfroot?"

"Oh, yes, of course, I'm baking a pie."

"A pie? Ooo can I have some."

"No" the Herald gave her a surprised yet confused expression at this and it took Belle a moment to realize what she had just said and to whom.

"Oh! I don't mean... well...what I mean is that the pie is for someone but I would be happy to make you another." Belle explained hastily.

"Who's the pie for?"

"It's for the Commander, to thank him for saving my life, but like I said I would be happy to make you one as well."

"Well if it's for the Commander then don't bother I’m sure I can persuade him to give me a slice." The Herald replied with a smile.

Belle felt a sharp pang in her heart, she didn't like how close the Herald made them sound or the thought of the Commander sharing his pie with her. But she forced herself to smile while she thanked the Herald profusely who quickly went to go get the royal elfroot Belle needed.

Belle was in the kitchen for a good part of the day trying to make the best pie she could. Covered in flour and with sticky hands she rolled out new pie dough for the third time that day, third time's the charm she thought. The other two pies had turned out, not great, which she was kindly told by Flissa who had offered to help her. However, this time the pie turned out promising and since it seemed to be the best one out of the three Belle decided it was as good as it was going to get, so she put a note on it and snuck it into the Commander’s tent with the help of Captain Rylen. She didn't see the Commander for the rest of the day and tried to think about the pie as little as possible as she did her chores around the Chantry before going to the tavern to help Flissa with dinner.

As she was walking back to the Chantry from dinner Belle was looking up at the two moons that hung high in the night sky. Ever since the breach had opened the stars were barely visible beyond its green glow, but the moons were visible tonight and they shone brightly down on the world one being full and the other being a large crescent. Since she was staring upwards, examining the sky, she didn't see the person waiting at the Chantry doors and almost ran into them.

Belle gasped when she saw the large figure. "I'm sorry I didn't see you there." With a start, Belle noticed it was the Commander's large form that she had almost run into, again.

"Yes, I noticed, maybe you should pay more attention to where you are going." This was delivered in an unamused tone but Belle could see the poorly hidden amusement in his eyes as they sparkled in the moonlight. "We wouldn't want a repeat of last time, now would we."

Belle looked down as she blushed, remembering how she had run into his broad chest. "No of course not, can I help you with something Commander? Are you looking for someone, the Herald perhaps?"

"Actually, I was looking for you."

"Me??" He was looking for her?

"Yes, you."

"Why?" Belle asked although she had a feeling she knew why.

"I wanted to thank you for the pie, although it was completely unnecessary."

"Oh, it was bad wasn't it." Belle groaned "I'm sorry I've never made it before-,"

"Belle."

"-and I'm not that great of a baker-"

"Belle!"

"-to begin wi-"

"Belle!!"

She stopped talking and looked at him, "It was great, the pie tasted amazing. It reminded me of home actually, I'm from Honnleath originally."

"Yeah I know" he looked at her questioningly, "Captain Rylen told me."

"He did, did he? And where are you from?"

"Me? A small town near Orzammar, hence the unusual accent. Apparently, a surface dwarf settled the village, and eventually, a couple humans settled there too and adopted the dwarven accent." Belle realized she was rambling and tried to regain control of the conversation. "But we were talking about you, and the pie. You liked it? It was actually good?"

"Yes, it was better than I remember, thank you very much. However, it was uncalled for."

"But you saved my life, I had to thank you somehow. Although a pie seems a little underwhelming as a gift for that now that I think about it."

"You didn't have to thank me, it's my job to help people and we look out for our own." Belle sank a little at this, "And I was more than happy to help you."

"Of course... well if that's how you feel then I guess you can just give it back."

"Give it back?...Give what back?"

"The pie, since it was unnecessary."

"Um, that may be a problem."

"Why?”

"Because I ate it all." He said with a grimace.

Belle smiled at this, "You ate it all? The whole pie?"

"Yes," He hung his head as he answered her. He looked almost ashamed.

Belle couldn't keep from laughing, "Well I guess it was good after all. The Herald is going to be disappointed however, she was convinced you would share it with her."

"Share a pie? Never." He was smiling now too as he answered in a teasing tone.

Belle and the Commander finished talking and said their goodbyes before Belle went into the Chantry to collect her things. She had spent most of the day in the hot kitchen and needed a bath. So, she gathered her things and made her way over to the bathhouse.

She managed to find an open single room to the side. The bathhouse had a large pool in the back for bathing which many people used at once but Belle had always been self-conscious and had been relieved to learn that Haven's bathhouse surprisingly had a couple of single baths. She made her way into the small room, and lit a few candles which cast a dim glow on the walls and tub before preparing the bath, undressing and getting in.

She relaxed comfortably in the bath for a while until she was ready to wash. As she looked around for the soap she realized she had left it on the small table that stood next to the tub. She reached over for it instead of getting out since she didn't want to risk the cold night air, and cried out in pain as her side throbbed at the movement. Her ribs were still healing since she had reinjured them during the wolf attack and she had foolishly stretched her side causing them to ache. She quickly moved back to her previous position and sank into the water. She was holding her side in pain when the door to her room burst open.

"Are you alright?! I heard a- Oh Belle!!"

Belle gasped in surprise and covered her mouth as she watched the Commander's hand quickly come up to cover his eyes. She sank even further into the water as she blushed.

"I-I heard a scream and thought someone was in trouble. Are you alright? Did something happen?"

The Commander was still talking with his hand over his eyes, but Belle wasn't looking at his face. He was clad in nothing but a towel that was wrapped around his waist, and his sculpted chest was visible in the dim light. His skin looked even more golden in the candlelight and a light dusting of blonde hair covered his chest. He was broad and muscular and Belle's eyes traveled down the length of his torso.

"Belle??"

Belle's eyes snapped back up at her name, and her blush reddened. "Um, no I'm fine I just moved wrong, it hurt my ribs, but I'm fine now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, positive."

"Alright, again I am so sorry, I'll leave you in peace now."

The Commander turned to leave with his eyes still covered, and Belle watched as he ran straight into the edge of the open door.

"Ow!"

She tried to stifle her laugh, but it turned into more of a snort as she began to giggle watching the Commander bring his free hand up to rub at his forehead.

"You didn't see that." He said in embarrassment as he maneuvered around the door before leaving and closing it gently behind him. Belle continued her bath and did everything she could to fight off the tempting thoughts of the Commander's body.

The next day she saw the Commander out training his men, and as he turned to the side to address one of the soldiers waiting to talk to him she caught a glimpse of the vertical bruise the door had left on his forehead. She broke out in a gentle laugh as she quickly turned and walked away.


	12. Chapter 12

Belle was standing in Haven staring up at the scarred sky, where the breach had just been. _She did it, she really did it_. The Herald along with the mages she had acquired to help her had headed to the breach earlier that day to attempt to close it, and it looked like they had been successful. The breach had shone and pulsed a couple of times before ultimately closing leaving a scar in the sky where it had been. _It's over, it's finally over_ , she couldn't believe it.

When the Herald had finally returned, Haven had erupted into celebration, with music playing and everyone talking and dancing. Belle was standing away from the crowds nursing a cup of water as she looked up at the sky.

"I can't believe she did it." Belle was startled by the sudden voice at her side and looked over to find the Commander had come to stand beside her.

"Yes, it's amazing," She answered as she turned back to look at the night sky.

Belle could see the Commander looking at her, examining her face, from the corner of her eye.

"You're not looking at the breach." he observed.

"No, I'm not. I'm looking at the stars. Now that the breach is gone you can see them clearly again."

He looked up with her now. "I never noticed."

"I missed them, they're so beautiful."

"Yes, beautiful"

Belle looked over at the change in the tone of his voice, but he wasn't looking at the stars. She met the Commander's eyes as he looked at her. She could see the fire behind her being dimly reflected, and it made them dance.

"Belle I-"

"Commander!" They both looked over in surprise at the young man who had interrupted them. "There is a force gathering on the horizon, the bulk over the mountain." Belle and the Commander both looked at each other before breaking into a run, as they headed for the main gate.

Belle reached the gate before the Commander as he had stopped to gather his troops. When he arrived the Herald and Lady Cassandra along with the other advisors were in tow.

The Commander began to explain the situation. "One watchguard reporting, it’s a massive force, the bulk over the mountain."

"Under what banner?" The Ambassador asked.

"None."

This warranted a surprised response from the Ambassador before there was a knock at the gates. As the Herald ran down to open them the Commander quickly turned to Belle.

"Belle, I need you to get as many people and supplies to the Chantry as you can, can you do that?" He asked grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Yes, of course, sir." And with that, he gave her a comforting squeeze before releasing her and following the Herald down the stairs.

Belle did her best to gather as many people as she could on her way to the Chantry. She made sure everyone was secure inside before recruiting a few villagers to help her and going back out to collect supplies. She didn't know how many trips she had made before she came back to find the Commander in the Chantry. He quickly pulled her inside and told her not to leave again.

An Archdemon had been spotted and they were now apparently waiting in the Chantry to die, which Belle thought was a terrible idea. The Herald eventually arrived with a few more townspeople, whom she had rescued. That's when the demon boy, _what was his name, Cole?_ had started talking about a way out. Chancellor Roderick, who was looking worse for wear, chimed in and spoke of a path that they could escape through.

Everything was looking good until they realized they would need a distraction, which is when the Herald came up with the brilliant idea to sacrifice herself for them. Belle could see the look on the Commander’s face at this. He looked pained and sad as he told her about some false hope theory he had for her escape. It hurt Belle to see him like that, even if she was jealous of the obvious affection he had for the Herald.

As the Herald was leaving Belle thought of another problem, they would have to trudge through the deep snow and a blizzard to escape and while everyone was dressed for cold weather, no one was dressed for a blizzard. So, she approached the Commander with the issue and a solution to it.

"There is a box of extra blankets in one of the cabins, Mother Gwen has a key. They would come in handy for the journey."

"Good thinking Belle. Go ask the Mother for the key, and when you get it bring it to me and I'll get some of my men to go retrieve them."

Belle acquired the key from Mother Gwen with ease but when she went to give it to the Commander she noticed how busy he was and how occupied all of his men were. She didn't want to bring a distraction that would slow their preparations. So against her better judgment, she decided to get the blankets herself.

She quietly opened the door to the Chantry and stepped outside, where she was met with a horrific site. Bodies laid everywhere both human and... not. She could see men and women in Inquisition uniforms lying amongst creatures that looked like they had once been human but were now disfigured and grotesque with red crystals growing out of them. To her horror, she realized she recognized some of the men and women lying amongst the dead. And the smell was sickening, she could smell burnt flesh and blood on the breeze mixed with smoke which made her cough and gag.

Doing her best to keep calm she quickly made her way to the cabin where she knew the chest was and opened the door with the key. She opened the chest and gathered the various blankets and cloaks in her arms before making her way out of the cabin and back to the Chantry. With a sigh of relief, she noticed that there were still no enemies around, as the Herald was apparently drawing all of their attention.

While she was walking she screamed and almost dropped the load in her arms as someone grabbed her ankle. She looked down to see the deformed and bloodied body of an Inquisition soldier. He was looking up at her, holding her ankle.

"Please," he said in a weak and shaky voice, "help me."

The tears were threatening to fall from her eyes as Belle looked down at the man. She knew in her heart that there was nothing she could do to help him.

"I'm sorry I can't help you." She told him in a pain filled voice.

"Please" he begged her.

"There's nothing I can do, I'm so sorry." With this, she shook off his hand and practically ran back to the Chantry.

Belle entered the Chantry and froze by the door as she was filled with horror and guilt at what she had just seen and done. Her whole body was trembling and she was in such a trance that she didn't see the Commander angrily making his way towards her. Not until he had seized her by the arms and started shaking her did she emerge from her state of shock.

"What in Andraste's name were you thinking?!"

Belle brought her unfocused eyes which had been gazing past him up to look at his face. "I-I-I...."

"You could have been killed!! I told you to come tell me when you got the key, so I could get my men to go retrieve the supplies, not to do it yourself!"

"I-I'm s-sorry..." Belle managed to stammer in a shaky voice as tears began to run down her face.

Seeing this the Commander's eyes gentled as he loosened his grip. "Belle are you alright? Are you hurt?" His eyes searched her face before scanning down her body as he looked for any sign of an injury. "You're shaking." Belle shook her head as she continued to cry quietly. "Belle what-"

"Commander!" The call came from behind him. "We're ready to head out."

He continued to look at her in concern as he answered. "Alright, I'll be there in a moment." He placed a large gloved hand on the side of her face and stroked her cheek gently with his thumb before he took the blankets from her arms and walked away to give them to a soldier to pass out.

Belle followed shortly thereafter and found a place in the back of the group to stand. She wiped the tears from her cheeks as she tried to regain her composure. _Can't cry in a blizzard your tears will freeze_. She felt a gentle tap on her shoulder and turned to find Captain Rylen holding a blanket, which he offered to her.

"I'm fine, there are others who need it more."

"Um right, but you see you have to take this one lass. The Commander said you absolutely had to get a blanket, and he also said to not take no for an answer so," he shoved the blanket into her hands "this one is yours."

He retreated before Belle had time to protest. So she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and began to walk as they moved out of the Chantry.


	13. Chapter 13

The going was hard and slow, it had only been a couple of hours since they had left the Chantry but Belle felt as if she had been walking for days. The blizzard was blinding, it whipped snow around them and obscured the path ahead. She was exhausted from trudging through the knee-high snow. Her legs felt as if they might give out any second beneath her. She had the blanket Captain Rylen had given her wrapped around her tightly, but it barely helped. The freezing night air penetrated it and the rest of her clothing with ease, chilling her to the bone.

Belle was at the back of the group collecting and helping anyone who fell behind, she wanted to help, but she was doing it more for herself than for them. She needed something to distract her not only from her current situation but also from what she had seen in Haven. If she didn’t have something to do she felt as if she might go insane.

As she was walking a young woman cradling a small child to her chest collapsed beside her.

“I can’t do it, I can’t keep going, here” she tried to hand Belle the baby, “take her, I can’t go on.”

Belle looked from the woman to child she was holding out to her before gently taking the baby and cradling it in her own arms. She then took off the blanket she had wrapped around her shoulders and wrapped it around the woman, shivering at the loss of warmth.

“I’ll carry your baby, but you can’t give up, you have to keep going, if not for yourself then for your child. What’s her name?”

“Her name’s Emma.” The woman replied weakly.

“Well, Emma is going to need a Mom when we get where we're going. Which means you have to come with us, so come on.” As she spoke Belle reached down and grabbed the mother by her arm. She hauled her to her feet, before pushing her ahead in front of her.

But now Belle was struggling, even more, she was down a layer, cradling a baby and pushing its mother ahead of her. Luckily a nearby soldier saw they were struggling and came to help. He swiftly took over the responsibility of helping the mother. As the blizzard picked up Belle held the child, who couldn’t have been more than a year old, even closer to her chest. She wrapped her cloak around it and continued to trek through the deepening snow.

By the time they made it to a decent enough spot to camp, Belle was dead on her feet. She only continued to move around to keep herself and the child warm. She was walking around while they finished setting up the camp in search of the baby’s mother when a gloved hand grasped her arm.

“Belle.” As she turned towards the Commander he noticed the little girl in her arms. “Oh, a baby? I didn’t realize-”

“She’s not mine, her mother was too weak to carry her. I’m actually looking for her mother right now.”

“What’s her mother’s name?”

“I don’t know, I remember what she looks like but I don’t know her name, the baby’s name is Emma though.”

“And is Emma alright?”

“She seems to be, a journey like that can take a lot out of a person, especially one so small.” Belle looked down at the sleeping child in her arms. She looked back up as it looked like the Commander was about to say something but before he could speak they heard a call go up.

“The Herald!!”

Belle and the Commander both looked up to where the scout was pointing. The Commander glanced at her one last time before running up the hill with Lady Cassandra at his heels. As she watched them go, Belle, heard someone yell close by.

“Emma? Emma?!”

She turned around and found the girl’s mother alive and well looking for her daughter. So, she handed the sleeping child over to her mother who thanked her profusely, before heading to her tent. Belle took the cot she had been given out of her tent and left her blankets in her spot on the floor. She carefully stepped around the people already sleeping as she exited the tent. She found Mother Giselle standing near another tent they were preparing for the Herald.

“Excuse me, Mother Giselle?”

“Yes, child.” The Mother responded in a kind voice as she turned toward her.

“Do you have a cot for the Herald?’

“At the moment, no.”

“Well then you can have mine.” Belle handed the cot to the mother, who gave her a questioning look. “I can sleep on the floor.”

“If you are certain, then thank you. I’m sure the Herald will appreciate it.”

With this Belle made her way back over to her own tent and quietly entered as not to disturb anyone. But to her dread, she realized her spot on the tent floor, along with her blankets, had been taken. Not wanting to wake the sleeping figure that was now lying in her spot she simply sighed and exited in search of more blankets and an open tent.

She found a couple of blankets which she quickly gathered in her arms but all of the other tents were full. So, she set up a makeshift bed at the edge of the fire, as close as she could get without actually catching on fire, and laid down. She fell asleep in no time despite the uncomfortable bed and freezing night air.

Belle woke with a start, she jolted upright in her bed panting heavily. She was shaking all over and drenched in sweat despite the cold night air. She had been dreaming of Haven, of the man she had refused to help. Only after she caught her breath did she notice the figure crouched beside her eyeing her in concern.

“It’s alright Belle, it was just a dream.” The Commander said as he placed a large warm hand on her shoulder.

“It wasn’t just a dream.” Belle replied in a pained voice as she sunk her face into her hands.

“Belle what are you doing out here? Why are you sleeping by the fire?”

Belle kept her face in her hands. She was still shaking as she tried to regain her composure. “I gave my cot to Mother Giselle for the Herald to use and when I returned to my tent my blankets and spot on the floor had been taken. I found these blankets lying around but all of the other tents were full so I came out here to sleep.”

“You can’t sleep out here Belle.” The Commander moved closer to her, obviously realizing that there was something wrong. “I’ll find you somewhere else to sleep, you want to tell me what’s going on?”

Belle shook her head that was still hanging forward. She slowly removed her hands from her face as she felt her tears finally begin to fall. “I… I can’t.”

“Why not?” He sat down next to her now, moving his hand from her arm to rest between her shoulder blades.

“I don’t want to think about it, let alone what you would think of me when you find out what I did.” She said this as she brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs.

“What happened? What did you do?”

She was openly crying now as she began to describe what had happened. "When I left the Chantry in Haven it was horrible. What I saw I can never unsee. There were bodies everywhere and it smelled like burnt flesh and blood, it made me sick. I’ve never seen a dead person before, at least not like that. I recognized some of the men and women that were out there, I knew their names, their faces. When I was returning to the Chantry an Inquisition soldier who was lying on the ground grabbed my leg. He begged me to help him, but I just shook him off and ran. How could I do that, how could I abandon someone like that? I should have helped him, I should have done something, anything but instead, I left him there to die. What kind of person does that?”

The Commander’s body was pressed against her side now. His hand had sunk down her back and slid over to her hip to pull her closer to him. As he listened to her he watched her with concern and sadness. “Belle, you didn’t do anything wrong, there’s nothing you could have done for him.” He told her in a gentle reassuring voice.

“No…I could have done something… he was begging me… but I didn’t do anything, I’m so sorry.” Belle’s speech was interrupted by sobs and shaky breaths as she cried harder while remembering the man she had left behind.

The Commander began to rub slow circles on her back with his hand as he talked. “Shhh, you couldn’t have helped him, and that’s alright, you didn’t do anything wrong. You have nothing to apologize for, especially to me. I think no less of you Belle. What you did, leaving the Chantry like that so you could help people, was very brave and selfless.”

She shook her head as she sobbed, “I should never have left… I should have listened to you… I’m so sorry.” And with that, she broke down even more, no longer able to speak because she was crying so hard.

The Commander didn’t say anything, instead, he pulled her into his lap, and cradled her against his chest as he continued to rub slow circles over her back. “Shhh, it’s alright Belle, I’ve got you. I’m so sorry if I could take your pain away I would.” She felt him plant a kiss on the top of her head as she continued to cry into his chest, soaking his shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Belle just can't catch a break


	14. Chapter 14

Belle woke up the next morning to people moving around and talking loudly outside the…tent? How had she gotten into a tent? She was lying on her back on a cot with the covers tucked in around her in a nice spacious tent. She looked around and noticed that she was the only one inside. No one else was in the tent at the moment and it looked like no one had been all night. The last thing she remembered was crying into the Commander’s chest.

Belle groaned, had she really sobbed into that poor, unexpecting man’s chest. She had probably completely soaked his shirt, snot and all. He had been very kind to let her. Actually, he had been very kind in general to her last night. He had listened to her sob through her experience at Haven and hadn’t judged her for leaving that man behind. He hadn’t even yelled at her again for leaving the Chantry, where he could have rightfully given her an “I told you so.” Belle was beginning to piece together how she had gotten into this very nice tent and exactly whose tent it was but she wanted to talk to the Commander just to make sure. Even though she wasn’t sure she could look him in the eye after last night, she decided that she at least had to say thank you for what she was pretty sure was his doing.

“Commander Cullen,” He turned from where he was overseeing some preparations for their continued journey to face her. “I was wondering if I could speak with you,” she paused “alone.”

He gave her a knowing look before nodding. “Of course,” He excused himself as he followed her a little way out of the camp.

“About last night, listen I’m really sorry, I-”

“Belle please, you don’t have to apologize because there is nothing to apologize for.”

“Can I finish?”

He gave her a slightly surprised look. “Of course.”

She started again “About last night, I’m really sorry, for everything. I know I must have woken you with my dream, before telling you this terribly long pity party of a story and soaking you in snot and tears. Then, correct me if I’m wrong, you carried me to your tent, tucked me into your bed, and then slept somewhere else.”

He looked at her with an unreadable expression. Neither of them spoke for a couple of seconds as they just looked at each other.

Finally, he broke the silence. “It was my pleasure to be there for you when you needed someone, and quite literally a shoulder to cry on. I wasn’t asleep when I heard you dreaming, as I had just woken from a dream of my own. Belle, everyone needs someone to talk to and believe me it can truly help. I didn’t mind the tears… or snot, I was actually surprised when you didn’t reel back as my shirt was already drenched in sweat. And I told you I would find you somewhere else to sleep, I wasn’t just going to leave you out there in the cold. I was perfectly happy to give up my bed and tent. And before you ask, no I didn’t sleep outside I slept with my men, they needed the morale boost anyway.”

Belle crossed her arms and looked at him, unswayed.

He met her gaze straight on before adding, “That’s what friends are for, right? I know you would have done the same for me.”

Belle sighed, “Yes, of course, thank you.”

He smiled at this and patted her on the shoulder. “Anytime,” Then he said goodbye and went back to ordering his men around.

It was a couple of days hike to this new place the Herald was leading them to, and Belle saw little of the Commander in that time. Everyone seemed to pair up with friends or family for the journey but since Belle had neither she stayed toward the back of the group and lost herself in her thoughts and surroundings.

“Hey, Sunshine!” Belle looked down from the snow-covered trees she had been looking at to the dwarf in front of her. “I want to introduce you to my new friend Sparkler here,” He gestured to the handsome mustached man at his side, who waved “he’s short on friends here too.”

“Hello beautiful, I’m Dorian Pavus.” The mustached man stuck out his hand with well-manicured fingers for her to shake. “Apparently I’m a Tevinter spy, or at least that’s what everyone’s saying. Why are you an outcast?”

“I talk like a dwarf.” Belle responded as she took his hand. “No offense master Tethras.”

Varric held up his hands, “None taken, and besides, I told you to call me Varric.”

“You can call me master Pavus if you like, I won’t complain.” Dorian winked at her.

“Don’t listen to him Sunshine, he’s just a little full of himself.” Varric told her, as he nudged Dorian in the ribs. This caused Dorian to dramatically clutch his side in pain which made Belle laugh. She spent the rest of the journey listening to the wild tales of both men and became fast friends with the two of them, which she was very thankful for.

When they finally made it to Skyhold, or at least that’s what the Herald and her elven sidekick were calling this castle in the mountains, it was announced that the Herald was to become the Inquisitor, and therefore official leader of the Inquisition.

Everyone gathered in the courtyard and cheered loudly as she took the sword the advisors offered her and raised it above her head, accepting her new role. Once that business was out of the way, however, work on Skyhold began. It may have looked majestic from a distance but up close it was run down and dirty and a lot of work needed to be done before it would be an acceptable headquarters for the Inquisition.

Belle spent the next couple of weeks helping with the rebuilding, she only saw the Commander when she walked by his makeshift desk at the bottom of the stairs. However, she saw him enough to realize that he was suffering from headaches and lack of sleep. She couldn’t tell if the one caused the other or vice versa but she could tell he was suffering, no matter how well he thought he hid it. So, she started leaving her famous headache curing tea on his desk when she passed, at least once a day, careful not to let him see.

Despite her stealthy approach to the situation, one day as she was walking away she was jerked quickly backward by a large hand on her arm.

“So you’re the one that has been leaving these,” the Commander motioned to the tea “on my desk.”

Belle winced, “Maybe…?”

The Commander shook his head and smiled, “What is it?” He asked as he picked up the cup and peered inside.

“It’s my famous tea for curing headaches”

He raised a questioning eyebrow at her, “You pinch the bridge of your nose and do this whole scrunchy face look when you have one.” Belle then proceeded to pinch the bridge of her nose and scrunch her face in her best imitation of him to demonstrate, which drew a deep laugh from the Commander.

“I have been plagued by them lately, I'm surprised you noticed.” He eyed her, but Belle just shrugged.

“Mother Liesel swears by my tea, says it’s the only thing that helps her headaches so I figured maybe it would help you too. If you don’t like it or want me to stop just say so.”

“No, at this point I will try anything… even unusual smelling tea.” He said sniffing the cup, which caused Belle to laugh.

“Then I will continue to make them for you.” She noticed the Inquisitor, _man that is going to take some getting used to_ , standing to the side looking like she wanted to interrupt. “I think I better let you go, don’t want to keep the Inquisitor waiting.” She motioned to the woman standing patiently behind him.

He looked over at her, “Of course, see you later Belle, and thank you for the tea.”

She smiled and nodded before walking away as she heard the Inquisitor begin to talk to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all knew that tea would make another appearance.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains Belle's more depressing than interesting backstory that no one asked for but here it is anyway.

Once the major work on Skyhold was done Belle still kept up her chores in the Chantry but now also split her time between helping cook breakfast in the kitchen, helping out in the stables and doing other odd jobs in the afternoon before helping Cabot out in the tavern during the evening. With any spare time that she had either being spent at the stables with the horses or wandering Skyhold’s garden.

One day as Belle was walking through one of the doors to enter the garden she ran into Dorian who said hello and apologetically explained he couldn't chat giving her a wink and ruffling her hair before leaving. As she entered the garden she looked around realizing it was mostly empty, but she could hear voices on the breeze. Following the voices, she stopped in the shadows as she saw the Commander and Inquisitor playing chess. Not wanting to disturb them she quietly made her way back over to the other side of the garden and decided to stay there until she was sure they were done. 

So, Belle kept herself busy wandering around looking at the beautiful assortment of flowers and the various insects and critters that called the garden home. She found a beautiful butterfly feeding on some crystal grace growing in the corner, it had almost iridescent wings that were a pretty blue with flecks of colors throughout. She watched it and began to follow it through the garden. 

"Care for a game?"

She heard the Commander asking the Inquisitor if she wanted to play another game, and did her best to ignore it. 

"Belle?"

She looked up and realized she had wandered closer to the chess table where the Commander was sitting looking at her. 

"What?" She looked at him puzzled.

"I asked if you wanted to play a game, of chess?" he gestured to the board in front of him.

"Oh, me? I thought you were talking to the Inquisitor."

"Yes, you" he laughed "you're the only one here, the Inquisitor left after our game finished, but I have more time if you would like to play."

"I fear I do not know how to play chess."

"Well if you would like I could teach you."

Belle smiled "Ok!" She answered enthusiastically, abandoning her butterfly and making her way over to sit across from the Commander.

She listened intently as he explained the rules and basic mechanics of the game. Seeing how animated he was as he told her the name and role of each piece, made her smile and more excited to learn. Once everything had been explained they started their first game and began to talk about things other than the Inquisition. 

The Commander told her about his childhood, what it was like growing up in Honnleath, his three siblings Mia, Branson, and Rosalie, and how he had wanted to be a Templar ever since he was a boy. He also told her how he had been recruited to the Inquisition, although he wouldn't go into details about what had transpired between the time he joined the Templars and the time he left the order to join the Inquisition.

"What about you?"

Belle knew the conversation would turn to her eventually. "What about me?" She teased 

He laughed, "You know, where did you grow up? What about your family? Do you have any siblings? What was your life like before the Inquisition?"

"You really want to know?" He nodded with a smile and leaned forward to move his piece on the board.

"Well, as you already know I grew up in a small town near Orzammar, and have moved around a lot since then. As for my family, my father died before I was born and my mother died during childbirth, I was their only child." 

"You're an orphan? I'm sorry I didn't know." He gave her a sad look.

She smiled at him "It's ok, it's not your fault. The Chantry raised me after that. When I was six years old since my town was so small and I was the only orphan they moved me to another Chantry run orphanage in a larger town. And they kept moving me after that because I never got adopted, no one wanted the little girl with the weird accent. So, since I never got adopted, when I turned eighteen I didn't really have anywhere to go, so I decided to stay with the Chantry and I was helpful enough that the Mothers agreed. And that's where I've been ever since." Belle smiled as she finished her story. The Commander had been listening to her keenly ever since he had finished his turn. He was watching her with an unreadable expression on his face.

Since he wasn't saying anything Belle turned her attention to the board. She took the time to carefully think about her next move before sliding her piece into place. Looking back up she found the Commander still looking at her. She cocked her head to the side and gave him a questioning look.

"How can you be so happy and helpful all of the time when you have been treated so poorly?"

She realized now that the look on his face was wonder, he was amazed that she could be herself after what she had been through. "Many people have been treated much worse, it's really not that bad. And I decided a long time ago to not let it bother me. Most people are mean out of ignorance and not malicious intent."

He looked down and made his next move. "We should do this more often, I enjoy spending time with you." 

"I would like that." Belle couldn't contain her smile as her face lit up. Her heart fluttering at his words and the look in his eyes.

He looked down at the board again watching her move the piece in her hand. "And that would be checkmate, it appears you've won."

Belle looked down at the board, "Really??" She gave him a knowing look, "You let me win didn't you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." But the small smile that tugged at his lips gave him away.

"Right, and I’m the Empress of Orlais"

They laughed together at this before saying goodbye and heading their separate ways. 

Belle made her way over to the tavern to help Cabot with the evening rush. Everyone liked to come to the tavern after a long day’s work to relax and drink and he would often find himself shorthanded so Belle had offered to help since she rarely joined in with the other patrons. She was put to work waiting tables and serving drinks as soon as she arrived. 

Tonight, Garrett was at his usual table and as always requested Belle as his waiter. Ever since he learned she was waiting in the evenings he seemed to make an effort to come in and at least have one drink, especially if she hadn't worked in the stables that day. He had started treating Belle differently lately and she didn't know how to feel about it. She liked Garrett as a friend but she had a feeling he wanted more and she didn't know if she could give him more. 

She was completely infatuated with the Commander, but she also didn't want to rule out Garrett since it looked like the Commander might have those kinds of feelings for the Inquisitor. So, she simply treated him with the same regard as before pretending like she hadn't noticed the change. Luckily with her job she never had long to chat.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: this chapter contains attempted sexual assault, it's not graphic but if you are uncomfortable with this skip this chapter.

After a few weeks at Skyhold, everyone seemed to fall into a routine, including Belle. She would wake up and start her day in the kitchen, helping prepare breakfast. The Commander would always walk through around seven on his way somewhere. Most days Belle didn't know why he walked through the kitchen, as the Inquisitor was usually out on business trouncing around places like Crestwood or the Hissing Wastes, at least that's what everyone was saying. When the Inquisitor was at Skyhold everyone knew as somehow it seemed to get even busier, and the Commander would walk through on his way to the war room.

Today was no different, the Inquisitor wasn't around but the Commander came through anyway, as usual, followed by his regular entourage of couriers and soldiers all handing him reports and talking. Belle had set out the sweet roll and tea she made for him every morning in its usual spot on the edge of the table and watched as he took it, before exiting through the door that led into the main building. The door had barely shut behind him before the other girls in the kitchen started their typical mocking of Belle’s obvious crush on the Commander. 

“He’ll never notice you, you know. He's the Commander of the Inquisition’s forces, he's never going to notice the ‘help’ let alone you.” One of the girls said in a snotty voice.

“Yeah, he doesn't even know you're the one who leaves that for him, he probably barely notices, or thinks the Inquisitor has set it up for him.” Another girl chimed in.

“I know! I mean have you seen the way she looks at him, do you really think you could compete with her Belle?” The first girl responded, giving Belle a sideways look.

Belle ignored them as best she could and continued on with her work, before hearing the door open.

“Belle?”

She turned, hearing her name, to see the Commander peeking his head into the room from behind the door he had only just left through.

“Thank you,” he produced the cup of tea from behind the door and held it up, “for the tea, as usual.” He added with a smile before disappearing behind the door again.

Belle could practically hear the other girl’s jaws hitting the floor, and turning around with a smug smile she glanced sideways at them, to see them staring at her before she turned back to her work. 

After finishing breakfast, she spent the rest of the day between helping in the stables and Chantry. Ever since their move to Skyhold Belle had been helping in the Chantry less and less, she felt bad, but the Mothers always told her they didn't need her help as much since there was no actual Chantry in Skyhold. But she made sure to stop by at least once a day and ask if they needed anything. 

Once evening came Belle made her way to the tavern to work. The night was as busy as always, but after a couple of hours, something unusual happened. The Commander came in and sat down at the bar, out of his normal armor he wore just a plain white shirt and leather breeches. He didn't usually come to drink in the tavern and the men seemed excited to see him there, all of them coming up and saying a word or two to him. Belle refilled his glass once during the night, which he smiled at her for. 

When the evening started to wind down Cabot told Belle she could leave, so hanging up her apron she made her way out the door into the cool night air. It was a beautiful night and she could see the stars clearly, especially so high up in the mountains. So, she decided to take a stroll and enjoy the evening. It was late, so the courtyard was empty as Belle wandered around. 

“Hey, beautiful!” 

Belle turned around at the voice behind her and saw two men walking towards her. 

“Can I help you?” She took a couple of steps back, she didn't like the look of them.

“Yeah, we’re looking for a good time, think you could show us one.” They were closer now, backing her into a corner. Belle could smell the alcohol on their breath, and see the look in their eyes, which scared her. 

“Please, I don't want any trouble.” She put her hands up in front of herself trying to ward them off.

The man closest to her leaned forward and shoved her backward. She hit the ground hard and before she could get up they were on top of her, tearing her dress and touching her, everywhere. She tried to fight back but there were two of them and they were much stronger than her. So she screamed for help instead, which caused one of the men to punch her in the face, hard. Her head jerked back from the blow, and bounced off the ground, dazing her. 

She wasn't exactly sure what happened next as she was still trying to get her bearings after the blow to her head. All of a sudden one of the men was pulled backward off of her, and she heard his body thump to the ground somewhere off to the side. The other man's head jerked back briefly before being slammed into the ground directly to her right, then he was pulled off of her as well. This all happened in a matter of seconds and now Belle could see someone crouching next to her, helping her sit up.

“Don't worry Belle, you're safe now, I've got you.” The Commander said cupping her face and stroking a calloused thumb over her cheek. “Here.” He scooped her up in his arms and began carrying her towards his office. Neither of them spoke as Belle was still trying to come to terms with what had just happened. 

When they reached his office, he set her down on his desk before going up the ladder in the far corner. Belle could hear him rummaging around above her before coming back down carrying a clean white shirt. He helped her put the shirt on to cover up her exposed skin now showing through her ripped dress. He then retreated back up the ladder and returned shortly thereafter with a damp cloth, which he began to use to wipe the blood from her face. She watched his face as with gentle hands he ran the cloth down her cheek. They stayed like this for a while, silent, the only sound being the gentle breeze blowing through somewhere above them, with a quiet whistle. 

Finally, Belle spoke, “Thank you, Commander, for saving me, again.” He didn't say anything and just moved the cloth from her face to start working on her dirt covered hands. Once he seemed satisfied with them he placed the cloth next to her on the desk. He moved the chair he had brought around to sit on closer, before taking her hands in his. 

“I'm so sorry, that should never have happened. I promise the men will be punished and never serve the Inquisition again. I wish I had gotten there sooner… I should have gotten there sooner.” He gripped her hands tighter, still not looking at her. He brought his head down to where his hands were holding hers, and rested it on them. Shaking his head, he spoke in a pained shaky voice, “I should have never let that happen, I am so sorry, please forgive me.” 

Belle was confused, she knit her eyebrows together as she looked down at him, “It's not your fault Commander, you didn't do anything wrong so there is nothing to forgive.”

He shook his head, raising it to finally look at her, “No, I watched them leave after you, I didn't like the look of them. I should have trusted my gut, I should have followed them immediately, it is my fault.”

Belle gently pulled her hands from his and went to reach for his face, but her courage faltered at the last second and she dropped her hands back into her lap. The Commander caught her movement and glanced at her hands before looking back at her face. 

“It's not your fault, you couldn't have known, and besides the knock on the head I'm fine, they didn’t do anything, they didn't have the chance to thanks to you.”

“Not for lack of trying,” he huffed out an angry breath running his fingers through his hair, messing up his previously tamed curls, “if they had...” his voice broke and he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, “I never would have been able to forgive myself.”

“But they didn't, I'm fine, really.” She tried to reassure him but she also needed to reassure herself. So, she looked down to examine herself, he had done a good job of cleaning her up and his shirt covered the torn parts of her dress. However, her neck looked unusually empty and it took her a moment to realize why.

“My necklace,” she reached her hand up to touch her naked neck before bringing her eyes up to meet the Commander’s, who was now looking at her, “it's gone, it must have fallen off during the attack.” 

“Is it important?”

“It was my mother’s, it was all I had from my family.” 

“I'm sorry.” He looked so sad as he looked at her, so troubled.

Once they had both calmed down the Commander helped Belle back to her room, apologizing one final time at her door before leaving her alone. She didn't sleep well that night, too troubled by what had happened.


	17. Chapter 17

The next day Belle immersed herself in her work, trying her best to distract herself from what had happened the night before. The only evidence left of the attack being the purple colored bruise on her cheek, a couple of scratches on her chest and the empty place around her neck. Belle kept thinking of her mother's necklace, she planned to look for it today when she had the time, and really hoped she would find it. It meant the world to her as it was the only connection she had left to her family. 

Currently, Belle was at the stables brushing the horses. It was almost therapeutic to run the brush over their soft coats, in long slow strokes. She found herself humming a lullaby one of the Mothers used to sing to her in the orphanage. The sun was shining on her face through a broken board above her and she could feel a whisper of a breeze blowing through the barn. She felt good it was a beautiful day and despite the night before she couldn't help but smile.

“Belle,” she turned from where she was brushing a tawny-colored horse to look at the Commander who was standing a couple of feet away, “are you free for the afternoon?”

“Um,” she put down the brush and walked closer to him, seeing his gaze linger on the bruise on her cheek, “I am now, do you need something?”

“I was wondering if you would like to learn how to fight, or at least some self-defense.”

“Really? Now?” Belle smiled, “Of course! That would be great! Who would be teaching me?”

“Myself, if that would be alright.”

“That would be more than alright.” Her smile widened.

“Wonderful,” he smiled back, “the courtyard is free, we can train there.” He motioned for her to join him as he started walking in that direction.

“It's noon, the courtyard is usually full of your men training, why is it free today?”

“Someone gave them the day off.” He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye smirking.

“That someone being you?” She gave him a knowing look.

“I have no idea what you're talking about.” He feigned ignorance, poorly.

“You're a terrible liar Commander.” Belle laughed.

“So I've been told.” He laughed now too, his smile lighting up his face. It was nice to see him looking so happy after what had happened last night.

When they made it to the courtyard it was already set up with everything they would need. So he planned all of this out, Belle thought, for me. She listened while the Commander gave her a general rundown of training safety and where everything was. He then started his lesson with hand to hand combat, for self-defense. He taught her how to punch properly and how to break herself free from an attacker’s grasp. By the end of the lesson, Belle had a good grasp on most of the techniques, practicing a couple of times with the Commander playing her attacker, which she didn't mind at all as it meant she got to touch him.

When he was sure she had that down he started with the weapons training, he let Belle pick which they would use first and she chose the bow. He picked out a bow that was just her size and helped strap on the quiver, his hands grazing her breasts as he pulled the strap across her chest causing the heat to rise in Belle’s cheeks and other places. He then showed her how to nock the arrow, demonstrating with his, bow before putting it down and coming up behind her. 

“You'll want to draw it back so your hand is just grazing your jaw.” He placed his hands over hers, subsequently wrapping his body around her. Making sure she was gripping the bow correctly he helped her draw it back to the right place and position. 

“Now aim the arrow at the center of the target.” His face was so close she could feel his breath on her ear, causing her to shiver. She tried her best to concentrate despite his closeness and aimed the bow.

“Now take a deep breath, exhale, and release the arrow.” He stepped back now letting her take control, feeling the loss of heat on her back helped Belle cool down a little. She doubted he had any idea of what he was doing to her. 

So, taking in a deep breath she let herself calm down before she let the arrow go, and watched as it struck the edge of the target. She turned to look at the Commander with pride on her face and saw that same pride reflected in his.

“Well done, you'll be a pro in no time.” The Commanders praise made the heat return to Belle’s cheeks.

She practiced with the bow a couple more times before moving on to a sword and shield. He helped strap the shield to her arm then got around her again to help her hold the sword. Placing his hand over hers he helped her grip and swing the sword properly, talking the entire time, but Belle never heard a word he said. All Belle could think about was how close and warm he was, it was very distracting. Finally, he released her and went to pick up his own sword and shield before standing opposite her in the ring. 

“Hit me.”

“What?”

“Hit me.” He said this time with more fervor.

“But…” Belle trailed off.

“You're not going to hurt me, Belle, now hit me!”

So, hit him she did, slashing this way and that. She felt as if she was doing it entirely wrong but the Commander didn't seem to mind shouting tips and words of encouragement the entire time. By the end of it, Belle was panting heavily and covered in sweat. He came up to her taking her shield and sword.

“You did fantastic today Belle, you'll be able to kick some butt soon enough.” 

“Maybe if I was in shape.” She managed still panting.

The Commander laughed, “You're just fine, come on let's go get some water.” 

He steered her over to the bucket of water at the edge of the ring with a hand placed low on her back. After they had both gotten a drink and Belle’s breathing had returned to normal the Commander turned to her.

“I have something for you.”

“For me?” Belle pointed to her own chest, surprised.

“Yes, now turn around and close your eyes.”

Belle did as instructed, placing her back to the Commander, she felt something touch her neck and her hair was brushed forward, falling over her shoulders.

“Alright, open your eyes.”

She did and looked down to find her mother's necklace, clean and unharmed hanging around her neck. 

“You found it!” Belle whipped in a circle to face the Commander, throwing her arms around his neck, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She stayed like that for only a second before she realized what she was doing. Pulling back quickly she stepped away from him, dropping her gaze and putting her hands behind her back. “Sorry…” she bit her lip as she warily looked up at him.

“You don't have to apologize.” The Commander was looking at her with an unreadable expression. “Belle I've wanted to-”

“Commander!” A soldier came running up to them, “The Inquisitor has been spotted, she on her way up the path to Skyhold now, the advisors are meeting at the gates.”

“Thank you, I will be there momentarily.” He turned back to Belle, “I'm sorry but I must go, I will speak to you later.”

Belle smiled and nodded, but on the inside, she was screaming, why were they always interrupted when he was in the middle of saying something important! And sadly, he never did speak to her later, in fact, she barely saw him over the next few days, as he was making preparations for their upcoming attack on Adamant Fortress.


	18. Chapter 18

Belle never thought she would be riding to Adamant Fortress with the soldiers. Yet here she was sitting on one of the carts, tasked with keeping the medical supplies from bouncing out of the wagon on the journey.

The surgeon had approached her a few days before they were supposed to leave to ask her if she would come with them, to help in the healer’s tent. Belle wanted to say no, ever since Haven she was terrified of ever encountering another injured person, avoiding the healer’s tent at all costs. 

It's not that she didn't want to help, she did, but she was afraid of the memories it would bring back. However, despite her apprehension she just couldn't say no, they were expecting massive casualties and injuries at Adamant and they needed as much help as possible. So reluctantly she agreed to accompany them and help in any way she could. She had spent the next few days and restless nights packing and preparing herself for what was to come.

When they finally reached the Fortress after a week or so of traveling they set up a good distance away. They wanted the healer's tent to be close enough to help, but not so close as to become a target. Belle helped set up as best she could but she was constantly being distracted by the Commander. She didn't even know if he knew she was there but he was impossible to miss. He was constantly shouting out orders and discussing troop movements with his men. 

Belle spent half her time just simply staring at him, in awe of how different he was when he was in Command. Well, he was always in command but when it was just the two of them his entire demeanor changed. He would go from his usually stoic and commanding nature to a gentle, kind, and awkward man. It was amazing that those two seemingly separate people could actually just be one.

He looked so powerful and authoritative in his full armor. Belle had never seen the lion-faced helmet he now carried before, but it suited him, especially with his cloak. 

Eventually, it was time for the men to march to the Fortress, and engage the Wardens that hid there. Belle wanted to see the Commander one last time, to wish him luck. He was hard to miss but Belle was so small she was having trouble seeing over the throngs of troops that now surrounded her, all preparing for war.

She pushed and shoved her way through the crowds, following what she thought was his voice but she couldn't seem to reach him. Eventually, she saw him as he stood on top of a cart and began giving a rousing speech to the troops gathered before him. Cheers and shouts went up all around Belle as the men listened to their Commander.

“For the Inquisition!!” He raised his sword above his head on the final word and all the men followed suit before breaking to get into formation. 

Belle had missed her chance to speak to the Commander and watched as he and his men march to what could be certain death. The Inquisitor was with him, Belle could see her slight figure walking directly at his side.

She knew she shouldn't be feeling what she felt for the Commander. She had no claim on him and he thought of her as nothing more than a friend. He would never look at her the way he looked at the Inquisitor. Part of her was jealous that the Inquisitor had gotten to speak to him, and was walking at his side as he went to war, practically for her. 

Yet part of her was happy that she was with him, Belle knew how powerful the Inquisitor was and if anyone was to watch his back she was glad it was someone so capable. It also meant that he got to spend possibly his last few moments with the woman he cared for the most, and that was comforting to Belle, that he would be happy having her at his side. 

She did her best to keep busy over the next few hours, trying to distract herself from thoughts of the Commander. It wasn't hard either, as after only about an hour the healer’s tent was already full with injured men and women. 

The troops were not only fighting wardens but demons as well and some of the wounds were atrocious, men being brought in almost cut in half be claw marks. Some were just simply crushed either stepped on or squeezed until most of the bones in their body were broken.

For the worst of them, there wasn't much the healers could do besides ease their passing. However, when supplies started running low they couldn't even do that, as they had to save the potions and other supplies for people who could be saved. Belle did her best to try and block out their screams, but it was almost impossible. She knew the screams of the men they couldn't help would forever haunt her dreams.

As she was wrapping a bandage around one injured man’s leg she heard a horrific screech from outside. It was ear piercing, like nothing Belle had ever heard before. 

Suddenly, a man sprinted in through the open tent flap looking equally panicked and terrified, “It’s the Archdemon!!” 

Belle heard shocked and frightened gasps go up all over the tent. Some people went outside to confirm the man's report. While others whispered in hushed voices or just went back to work. Belle was one of the ones that simply went back to work. 

There were too many injured people to be running outside to scour the sky for the Archdemon. And Belle knew that if it really was the Archdemon there was nothing she or anyone else could do. So, she went back to bandaging the man's leg, sending up a quick prayer to the Maker for about the twentieth time that day to keep the Commander, the Inquisitor and all of their troops safe. 

Finally, after countless excruciating hours word came that the fighting had ceased, and they had won. Belle heard gossip amongst the men most recently brought in about how the Inquisitor had fallen into the fade and had come back in the nick of time to save them.

This concerned Belle, from what the men were saying the fighting had been terrible until the Inquisitor had come back, they had almost retreated. She hadn't seen the Commander since the fight began and felt panicked over the possibility that he was lying injured somewhere in the Fortress. 

Belle excused herself from the healer’s tent, now that the fighting was over and most of the men had been taken care of she could take a quick break. She quickly made her way across the field and into the Fortress, stepping over dozens of bodies, human and demon alike. 

She made her way to the center of the Fortress walking through an archway only to be surprised on the other side by a huge demon. She screamed and leaped backward falling to the ground before frantically using her legs to scooting herself away from it as quickly as she could. 

“Belle?” The Commander stood up from his place on a broken wall and walked over to her, “it's alright, it's dead, it can't hurt you.” He picked her up off the ground, gently brushing her off before giving her a serious look. “What are you doing here, you should be in the healer’s tent, it's not safe here, there could still be demons lurking about.”

“I know I just…” part of her wanted to tell him everything. How worried she had been about him, how upset she had been that she didn't get to say goodbye in case he didn't come back, or how she was overcome with relief at seeing that he was ok, but she couldn't. So, she settled for whispering, “I was worried about you.” before she put her hands behind her back and looked at the ground. 

He placed a large reaffirming hand on her shoulder, “I know” he whispered back squeezing her should before giving her a small understanding smile. 

“Jim, please escort Miss Belle here back to the healer’s tent.” He called to the closest soldier before glancing at her one last time and walking away. 

Belle went back to the healer’ stent and stayed there for the rest of the day doing what she could to help. When she was finally dismissed for the night she went to her own tent and got two clean basins of water to wash her hands in and a couple of clean rags. 

As she started to scrub her hands she began to cry, the events of the day finally catching up with her. Eventually her scrubbing turned into frantically trying to get the blood of dead men off her hands. By this point, the water in the basin was a dark shade of pink and Belle's hands were raw from the scrubbing, but she didn't care, she continued to cry and scrub, becoming frustrated that her hands weren't clean yet. 

“Get off! Get off! Why won't it come off!” She screamed in a pained voice through the sobs that now wracked her body, still scrubbing furiously at her blood-stained hands. 

Suddenly, there was a large presence behind her as someone came around her to grab her wrists stopping her movements, she tried to pull away but they were much stronger than her.

“Shh Belle, it's alright,” she recognized the Commanders soft voice in her ear. “Come on.” He said as he led her over to sit on her cot.

He then retrieved the other basin, which still had clean water in it, and a clean rag before kneeling in front of her. He placed the basin on her lap and her hands in it and then he started to rub the rag over them gently. He did this as Belle sobbed above him, first starting with her right hand and then her left. 

By the time her hands were clean Belle had stopped crying, now just sniffling as she looked down at him. “Why are you so kind to me?”

Amber eyes looked up at her, questioning. “Why wouldn't I be?”

“Because you're the Commander of the Inquisition and I'm… I’m just the help.” She looked down at her hands which he was now drying with a clean dry cloth.

“You are much more than that Belle… especially to me.” The last part was a whisper, just barely audible above the howling of the wind outside. 

She looked at him and he at her and for a second, they just looked at each other, neither one moving. Until finally the Commander moved up, his face just inches from hers now. Belle sucked in her breath, afraid that if she breathed it would ruin the moment. 

She thought for a split second he was going to kiss her, but he broke eye contact and leaned in, place a lingering kiss on her forehead. She felt his hot breath ghost across the wet spot his lips had left, and it sent a shiver down her spine. But as fast as it had happened he was gone, standing up and leaving the tent without another word.


	19. Chapter 19

They had returned to Skyhold about a week ago, and the Inquisitor had remained there since. Apparently, the fallout from Adamant Fortress had created a lot of paperwork.

Belle was currently headed to the requisitions office. She had volunteered her free time there recently to help sort and fill out the requisition forms. They needed many new supplies since Adamant and the office was overflowing with new orders. As she drew closer to the building to the right of the office she could hear yelling coming from inside. It sounded like the Commander and Seeker were having a disagreement.

As she passed the door it opened suddenly and the Commander almost ran into her as he made a hasty exit. Belle was shocked when he didn't even notice her, not even after he had almost knocked her over. She knew something had to be very wrong for him to completely ignore her. So, she stopped by the office to tell them she would come by later to help, before heading to the Commander's office.

When she reached his door she stopped and knocked, but heard no answer. So, she knocked again and still heard nothing. She figured either he wasn't inside or didn't want to be disturbed and was about to leave when she heard a groan from behind the door. He sounded in pain, and afraid that he may be hurt she opened the door.

She had only taken one step into the room before something flew past her, just inches from her face and smashed into the wall behind her. She drew in a quick breath and jerked backward to avoid it.

“Maker’s breath!! Belle, I didn't hear you enter, I-” the Commander looked up at her from his desk, startled and horrified before hanging his head, “forgive me.”

Belle looked over at the remnants of what he had thrown, a wooden box with tools inside which were now scattered across the floor. It looked like a Lyrium kit, she had seen the Templars with them before and she knew the Commander was an ex-Templar so it made sense that he would have one, but why was he throwing it across the room?

She looked back up at him, “No harm done… are you ok?” Now that she really looked at him he looked terrible, the worst she had ever seen him.

“I'm fine I just-” he tried to walk around his desk but only made it a few steps before collapsing with a groan, having to support himself on the desk corner.

She moved forward to help him but he waved her away, keeping her at an arm's length.

“I've been meaning to tell you, Belle.”

“Tell me what?” She looked at him with concern.

“I-” the door behind Belle flew open before he could finish as the Inquisitor strode in.

“Cullen, we need to-” she noticed Belle “talk…” and trailed off. “I'm sorry am I interrupting?” She looked from the Commander to Belle and back again.

Belle looked at the Commander, she wasn't going to answer the Inquisitor. She wanted him to tell her that yes, she was interrupting. That this was about the twentieth time she had interrupted them and for once they were going to finish their discussion. That Belle was more important to him than she was and that what they were talking about was more important than anything she had to say to him at this moment. She begged and pleaded him with her eyes to say that, even just some of it, but of course being the good soldier he was, he didn't.

“No, of course not Inquisitor.”

“Good, I need to speak with you,” she shot Belle a look, “alone.”

Both of them looked at Belle now, obviously waiting for her to exit the room. So, she did, feeling unimportant and defeated. She wanted him to put her first, just for once. She knew that she meant less to him than he did to her, but that didn't mean she couldn't wish and dream of the day that she wouldn't. She knew she was being selfish, but she couldn't help it. What she felt for him was too strong to be ignored anymore.

She grumpily trudged back to the requisitions office, everyone inside being surprised by her quick return. She spent the rest of her day there filling out reports and sorting all of the paperwork. She worked well into the night, as she had taken the evening off from the tavern so she could help there instead.

She was the last one there, so she blew out all of the candles before walking through the cold dark night back to her room. When she got inside she quickly changed into her nightgown and crawled under her heavy blankets, thankful she was finally in bed.

She was curled up on her side fast asleep when she was awakened by a knock at her door. Sitting up she rubbed the sleep from her eyes before throwing her legs over the side of the bed and making her way through the darkness to the door. _Who could it be at this hour_ she thought as she undid the latch and pulled the door open, feeling the freezing night air ruffle her nightgown.

Standing just outside the door, braced against the frame stood the Commander in nothing but a shirt and breeches.

“Commander??”

“Belle, can I come in?” He asked in a weak voice.

“Of course.” She stepped aside so he could enter and quickly lit a candle to light up the pitch-dark room.

“Commander, is everything alright?” He looked terrible, worse than he had looked before. He was weak and exhausted looking, with dark bags under his eyes. Despite the cold night air, he had just walked through he was sweating profusely and looked feverish, his blonde curls plastered to his damp forehead.

“I'm sorry to intrude on you like this.” He sounded out of breath as he spoke, and he shook slightly gripping the dresser next to him to stay upright.

“Come here,” Belle took him gently by the arm and led him to a chair that was propped against the wall. “Sit down.” He did as he was told without protest, all but collapsing into the chair. Belle took the chair from her desk in the corner of the room and put it in front of his, close enough so that their knees brushed together when she sat down.

“What's wrong Commander, you look terrible.” He didn't answer her, as he continued to try and catch his breath. “You look like you have a fever,” she reached her hand out and brushed his curls away from his face before placing the back of her hand on his forehead.

It felt warm but the Mothers had always told her that the best way to tell if someone had a fever was to use your lips. So, leaning forward, Belle placed her hands on his shoulders and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead. She drew back and looked him in the face.

“You do have a fever.” She ran a hand through his curls brushing the damp hair back. He brought his eyes up to look at her. They were slightly bloodshot and glazed over. He looked like he was in so much pain, so tormented. “What's going on?”

He swallowed before answering, “You work in the Chantry so you must know that Templars take Lyrium.”

“Yes, I've seen them with their kits. You threw a kit across the room earlier.”

He closed his eyes and swallowed again, “Yes, do you know what happens when a Templar stops taking Lyrium?”

“It's very bad, they can die.” She sat back looking at him, she was beginning to piece together what exactly was going on.

“Yes, the withdrawal is excruciating, and it can lead to death.” He opened his eyes and looked at her, “I stopped taking Lyrium when I joined the Inquisition. I didn't want to be tied to the Chantry, to that life any longer.”

“But this could kill you, it looks like it already is,” Belle replied in a worried voice her eyes surveying his deteriorated state.

“The withdrawal has been worse lately, and now I doubt I'm doing the right thing.” He leaned forward placing his face in his hands. “What if I'm making a mistake? What if I'm not strong enough? This can't interfere with my duty to the Inquisition, I won't let it.”

Belle didn't know what to say, she didn't know enough about the inner workings of the Inquisition to reassure him that it wasn't affecting his job. “Do you want me to get the Inquisitor?” She didn't want to ask it but she was going to be the friend he needed right now and put aside her own feeling for him. If getting the Inquisitor helped him through this then that was what she was going to do.

“What?” He glanced up at her, “No I've already spoken to her about this.”

“What did she say?”

“She said that she trusted Cassandra and that I should worry more about what I want.”

“And what do you want?”

“I want to continue, I won't go back to that life.”

Belle reached a hand forward and stroked it over his shoulder and arm reassuringly. “Then that's what you'll do, and I'll be here for you, every step of the way.”

“Thank you.” He said in a broken yet appreciative voice.

Belle stayed up with him the rest of the night, comforting him. They didn't talk much, but actions speak louder than words, and Belle was just happy to be there for him just like he had been there for her so many times.


	20. Chapter 20

Belle shoved Dorian’s feet off of her lap for the third time since she had sat down with him. The mustached man who was lounging next to her on the couch gave her a disgruntled look before putting his feet back onto her lap. Belle sighed, she knew she could never win this fight so she shifted underneath the surprisingly heavy load of his bare feet and focused her eyes back onto the page she was reading.

Ever since the Commander had divulged to her that he was suffering from Lyrium withdrawal she had hit the books in an attempt to find a way to help him. However, after practically scouring every book on Lyrium in the library, she had come up with close to nothing. Lyrium withdrawal was so rare that not much had been written about it.

She was about halfway through skimming the last book and was growing desperate. She wanted to do everything she could to help the Commander but that was a difficult task to accomplish when it seemed there was nothing she could do.

She felt helpless and she hated it. He had been there for her so many times and had helped her through so many hardships she wanted to pay him back by now helping him. That prospect, however, was looking grimmer and grimmer as the number of pages she had left to read dwindled.

She huffed out an annoyed breath and all but slammed the book in her hands shut before slouching down further on the couch. She put the elbow of her right arm on the armrest and rested her cheek against her fist.

“That look is very unbecoming, you know.” She heard Dorian’s book close next to her as he put it down before he sat up slightly and looked at her.

“Who cares, no one's looking.” She replied grumpily.

“I'm looking, have some courtesy.” She could hear the good-humored sarcasm in his response but was not in the mood for it. So, she rolled her eyes and looked away from her friend.

“Oh, come now, whatever it is it can't be bad enough to put you in that sour of a mood, especially with such good company.” It was uncanny, Belle could practically hear the wink that followed those words. Which drew a slight smile from her, before she quickly extinguished it, remembering she was supposed to be unhappy.

“I can't find anything,” she looked over at him, “These books are useless, this Library is useless, I'm useless!” She finished with an exasperated sigh before slumping back down onto the couch, defeated.

Dorian moved his feet from her lap and scooted closer. “I would help you but I don't know what you're looking for.”

“I can't tell you… it's not my place.”

“Well then I can't help you, but I can tell you that you are not useless, so pick that book back up and keep reading.” He put the book she had placed next to her back into her lap before lying back down on the couch.

Belle reluctantly opened the book back up to where she had left off and continued to read. She skimmed the rest of the pages of the book, and just as she had thought, found nothing. So, she closed the book and put it down next to her. She leaned her head back against the couch, which was a little too low to be an appropriate headrest and closed her eyes.

“Hello, Belle.” Belle’s eyes shot opened and she immediately sat up in a more appropriate posture. She threw Dorian’s legs from her lap which drew an annoyed sound from the man lying next to her as he almost fell off the couch. Standing in front of her with an amused look on his face was the Commander obviously proud of himself for catching her so off guard.

“Commander Cullen, hello, w-what brings you to the library?” She knew it was a stupid question the second it left her lips but she couldn't take it back now.

“I was just passing through on my way back to my office from discussing some reports with Sister Leliana. What are you reading?” He nodded to the books strewn about her.

“Oh, um, nothing.” She knocked the book on the armrest next to her off, and it hit the floor with a thud. She couldn't tell the Commander what she was actually doing there.

“Really? Nothing?” He raised his eyebrows, “Because it looks like you've got quite a few books there.” His eyes drifted to the many books lying around her.

“Oh, ahh, those are Dorian’s.” Dorian looked up from his book at her, raising a questioning eyebrow. She gave him a look that said: “just go along with it.”

“Right, these are all mine, I’m doing a lot of reading on…” he picked up the book closest to him. “Lyrium?” He gave Belle a questioning look before remembering the Commander. “I mean Lyrium, yes, of course, Lyrium, you know, being a mage and all.”

The Commander was not buying this as he looked from Belle to Dorian and back again but apparently decided not to argue it. “Right… well, it was nice to see you, Belle.” He gave her a smile, and then addressed Dorian, “Good luck with your readings Dorian.” He turned to leave and exited the library down the steps.

Belle groaned as she drug the palm of her hand down her face. “He didn't buy that at all.”

“You think?” Dorian retorted sarcastically. “Lyrium? Really? That's what you've been reading about this whole time? Why?”

“I told you, it's not my place to say.”

“Well, whenever it is your place you know where to find me. At this point, I would do anything to help you get into that man's pants.”

Belle quickly turned to look at Dorian, her mouth agape. She was utterly embarrassed and surprised by what had just come out of his mouth but he looked completely unfazed, still lounging on the couch reading.

“What did you just say??”

“You heard me.” He looked at her from behind his book, as she continued to stare at him with her mouth open. “Oh, come on Belle,” he sat up, “We’re all adults here and besides it's not like it isn't obvious.”

Belle let out an embarrassed groan as she covered her eyes with her hands. “It's that obvious, really??”

The look he gave her was all the answer she needed. “Well obvious to everyone except him apparently. Honestly, I don't know why he hasn't swept you up into his overly muscular and manly arms yet and taken you to bed. He seems to be completely oblivious.”

“Or he's noticed and is just ignoring it, probably to spare me the humiliation.”

“Why would he ignore a delightful catch such as yourself?”

“Please Dorian, are you kidding me? A delightful catch? Have you seen me? I am anything but a ‘delightful catch.’ Besides he has the Inquisitor.”

Dorian clicked his tongue at her, “You are much too hard on yourself. I swing the opposite way and even I can tell how wonderful you are.”

“That's because you're my friend Dorian.” She gave him a small smile, as she got up to leave. “I'll see you later, I have some other things to accomplish today. Not all of us can lounge in the library all day doing nothing.”

He dramatically acted offended by this as she turned to leave, before calling after her. “I wouldn't be too sure the affections of the Inquisitor go both ways.”

Belle just glanced over her shoulder at him, unsure of his exact meaning before exiting down the stairs.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a direct continuation of the last.

Belle walked out of the archway at the bottom of the stairs that led into Solas’ rotunda. She was lost deep in thought and was therefore startled when someone spoke from directly next to her.

“So, you're reading about Lyrium?” She jumped and sucked in a surprised breath as the Commander spoke from her side.

Belle stopped walking and brought a hand up to clutch at her chest, her heart pounding for more reasons than just the scare. “Commander you startled me.”

They started walking again, heading for his office. “I would say that wasn't my intention but that would be a lie.”

Belle looked up at him at his uncharacteristic response, to find him smirking at her. “You're cute when you're startled.”

Belle quickly shut her mouth which was hanging open at his response. She could feel her cheeks turning a light shade of pink and turned her face away from him to hide it. And she thought her heart was pounding hard before.

She forced a laugh, “Yeah like a small child.”

This drew a low chuckle from him, “Not what I meant, but if that works for you.” He shrugged smiling down at her. He was silent for a moment before addressing his previous question, “Can I assume correctly that you're reading about Lyrium because of the other night?”

“Yes, I wanted to find some way to help you, and I'm sorry about that whole debacle with Dorian, I didn't want you to know.”

“I understand, did you find anything?”

Belle huffed out an annoyed breath, “No, the books were completely useless.”

“I'm sorry you wasted your time, I could have told you there was nothing in them.”

“What? I don't consider it a waste of time, not even close. You have been there for me countless times, wasted your valuable time on me, now it's my turn. I want to help you just like you've helped me so many times.”

“Belle,” he stopped walking and turned to face her obviously wanting her to fully grasp what he was going to say, “You are not a waste of time, don't you ever think that.”

Belle swallowed, the look in his eyes did something to her that she couldn't quite explain. She had temporarily lost the ability to speak so she nodded and they continued walking.

“I guess the only thing I can offer you in the way of help right now is… well me. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I'm here for you Commander.”

They stopped walking just outside his office door and he turned to smile at her. He glanced from the door to her again before apparently making up his mind. “Would you care to join me for some tea?” He motioned to his door.

“I would love to.” She smiled at him as he opened the door for her.

Before they had even taken a step inside, he was intercepted by a messenger who had apparently been waiting in his office for him to return, “Commander, I have a report here for you from the Inquisitor.” He saluted as he spoke, before handing the piece of paper in his hands over to the Commander.

“Thank you, that will be all.” He dismissed the messenger as he took the missive.

The young man saluted again before moving to exit the room. Belle was still waiting patiently outside the door and stepped aside to let him pass.

“Wait a moment soldier,” the young man froze where he was, “I believe the young lady was trying to enter.”

“Oh, of course, my apologies miss.” He gave her an apologetic look before stepping aside to let her in. Once she was inside he saluted again before leaving, as the Commander closed the door behind him.

“It never ends.” The Commander said in an exhausted voice. He then walked over to his desk and poured them both a cup of tea, before coming over to hand Belle hers. She took it and thanked him, before seating herself on the edge of his desk. He tried to offer her his chair but she waved her hand at him dismissively as she took a sip of her tea.

“So,” he started once he was seated comfortably to her right.

“So,” she retorted glancing at him.

“You know, at this point you know almost everything about me and yet somehow I still feel as if I know nothing about you.”

“Almost everything?”

“Yes, there are some things that I am not quite ready to talk about yet.” He crossed his arms looking at her, obviously not falling for her attempt to change the subject.

She sighed, “Fine, what do you want to know, I've basically already told you everything.”

“You've told me your backstory but that's not the same as truly getting to know you.”

“Then tell me what you want to know, ask me anything.”

“Anything, really?” he stroked his chin with a gloved hand, thinking. “Alright, what's one thing you've always wanted?”

Belle drew in a deep breath, “A family.” The Commander leaned forward obviously not expecting such an answer. “I've wanted a family for as long as I can remember, I used to pray to the Maker all the time for one when I was younger. Clearly, he didn't see fit to give me one, it took me a while to come to terms with that, but I’ve gotten over it.”

“Have you?”

“Mostly, the feelings of not being wanted, of not belonging still haunt me, but it's gotten better.”

“I'm sure your parents wanted you, Belle.”

“They weren't alive long enough to want me.” She sighed.

“Belle,” the Commander was looking at her intensely, “I don't know if I count, but I want you.” He frowned, “That didn't come out right, um…”

Belle smiled and laughed gently as she watched him bring a hand up to rub the back of his neck, signaling he was uncomfortable. “It's alright Commander I know what mean, thank you.” He stopped his movements and just looked at her and Belle gazed back, unsure of what was happening.

Well, whatever was happening was interrupted by a knock at the door. _If it's the Inquisitor I swear_ , Belle thought as she turned to watch whoever it was enter at the Commander’s response.

“Commander,” the young soldier saluted, “The Ambassador has asked to see you.”

The Commander dismissed him, asking him to leave the door open on his way out. He then let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed a hand over his face, “As I said, it never ends.” He got up and motioned to the door, “Walk with me to the Ambassador’s office?”

“Actually, I promised Garrett I would help him in the stables, thank you for the tea though.” She walked through the door he was holding open for her.

“Oh, of course, It was a pleasure as always Belle, I will see you later.” and at that, they went their separate ways.


	22. Chapter 22

“You always want to sand with the grain.”

Belle watched as big calloused hands ran rough paper over the piece of wood in front of her. The dust that was rolling off of the wood made Belle cough and she could see the fine pieces getting caught in the loose strands of hair around her face.

“Here, now you try.” Blackwall handed Belle the rough paper in his hands.

While Belle had been paying attention to his lesson, she wasn't sure she was ready to try it herself. However, apparently, that wasn't an option with Blackwall as he took her by the shoulders and gently guided her to stand in front of the rocking horse he had just been sanding. So, she began to haphazardly rub the paper over the wood.

“No, with the grain,” Blackwall said as he placed his hands over hers and guided them along the grain of the wood.

“Ahem!” Someone cleared their throat from the doorway.

Belle pulled her hands gently out from under Blackwall’s and turned around to find the Commander staring at them from just inside the door.

“Cullen,” Blackwall addressed him as he turned around next to Belle.

“Blackwall,”

Belle had never seen the look the Commander was shooting Blackwall right now before, and she certainly didn't know what it meant. It all of a sudden felt a lot tenser in the room and she was becoming uncomfortable. Until finally the Commander turned to talk to her.

“Belle I need to speak with you.”

“Of course, Commander.” She nodded to Blackwall and thanked him before leaving with the Commander.

They walked out of the barn and Belle stopped in front of one of the horse stalls. She reached out and began stroking the nose of a chestnut colored horse which nuzzled her palm. The Commander stopped next to her and just watched her interaction with the horse, not speaking.

She looked away from the horse briefly to glance at him and spoke, “You needed something Commander?”

“Ah, yes,” he moved his eyes from where they were watching her hand stroke slowly over the horse’s nose to her face. “Yesterday I spoke with Josephine, um the Ambassador, and we were discussing who to bring to the Winter Palace and-”

“The Winter Palace?!” Belle's face lit up, she had never been to Orlais but had always heard it was gorgeous, especially the Winter Palace.

The Commander smiled, “Yes, the Winter Palace.” He took a breath, “We need to bring some extra people with us besides just soldiers and your name may have come up.” He smirked at her teasingly.

“May have?! Commander are you saying I'm going to the Winter Palace?!”

“Yes,”

He laughed as Belle squealed and clapped her hands together excitedly, like a child.

“I'm so excited, I can't believe I'm going to the Winter Palace!”

“We are going for work Belle, not pleasure.”

“Oh, yes of course sir.” She stopped wiggling happily and bit her lip, clasping her hands together behind her back.

He watched her for a moment before breaking out into a smile with a chuckle, shaking his head. “I had a feeling you would like this.”

“Wait,” Belle started to connect the dots, “Did you ask for me to be brought along?”

“Well… they were talking about bringing a couple of other people and I may have suggested you. The Inquisitor agreed with me.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you!” She bounced happily beaming at him.

“You're very welcome.” He frowned slightly at her as he brought a hand up to brush at the loose strands of hair hanging around her face. “You have wood shavings in your hair.”

“Oh,” Belle reached back and unclipped her hair. She shook her head bouncing her curls loose around her face before running her fingers through it. She looked back up at the Commander, “Better?”

But he didn't answer her, instead, he was staring at her with his mouth slightly parted. His breathing had quickened and Belle could see his chest rising and falling faster than normal.

“Commander?”

“What? Um…” he swallowed and looked away from her his cheeks reddening. A gloved hand came up to rub the back of his neck as he stuttered. “A-ahh, y-yes, better”

Belle looked at him curiously, wondering what had come over him.

He cleared his throat regaining his composure. “Madame Vivienne is holding classes this afternoon for everyone who is attending. I'm heading there right after this if you would like to walk with me if you are planning to attend.”

“Do I have to? She kind of scares me.”

He huffed out a laugh, “She scares me too, that's why I'm hoping you’ll come.”

“I can't protect you from the Lady of Iron Commander.” She responded as she began to walk with him towards the main hall.

“I was just hoping I could use you as a shield when she starts throwing things at me when she learns I can't dance.”

Belle laughed, “I can't dance either so won't she be throwing things at me as well.”

“Possibly, but you're not expected to dance at the Winter Palace, I on the other hand am.”

“Well then that sounds like your problem, not mine.” she gave him a cheeky grin. He just shook his head at her smirking.

They were late in their arrival to the hall and Belle feared Madame Vivienne would be angry with them but instead, she praised them for being “fashionably late” as she called it. She managed to turn that into her first lesson as everyone gathered listened halfheartedly to her.

They then continued on to the etiquette portion of the lesson. Madame Vivienne sat them all at a large table, which was already set with an overwhelming amount of silverware. Belle had no idea what half of the things at the table were for.

She was sitting across from the Commander and between Dorian and Varric. This combination created a very distracting environment for Belle.

Both of her friends were obviously aware of her infatuation with the Commander and therefore anytime he looked at or spoke to her she was either nudged in the ribs or Dorian whispered something dirty in her ear. Varric was dropping hints to the Commander left and right but he seemed completely oblivious. Belle's cheeks took on a permanent shade of pink because of all of the attention.

At one-point, Belle felt her foot brush something under the table and watched the Commander freeze across from her. She quickly pulled her foot back and looked up at him. As she mouthed sorry to him she heard Dorian giggle at her side, and shot him a look which just got a wink in return.

By the time the lesson finished Belle would have been surprised if everyone at the table didn't know how she felt about the Commander. She kept her face to the ground as she got and followed the rest of the group to the middle of the hall which had been cleared for dance lessons.

Dorian tried to get her paired up with the Commander but Madame Vivienne had others plans and she ended up paired with Dorian and the Commander with the Inquisitor.

 _Of course_ , Belle thought as she rolled her eyes watching the Inquisitor move perfectly in time with the music. She was elegant and graceful as she moved across the dance floor, proving to be a pro as Madame Vivienne praised her from the side of the room.

The Commander was holding the Inquisitor in his arms, and while she never missed a step the Commander was another story. He fumbled through the moves, stepping on her toes and tripping over nothing. Belle couldn't help but laugh as she watched him. _He wasn't kidding, he really can't dance_ she thought as they finished, Madame Vivienne coming up to talk to them.

Then she danced with Dorian, who also proved to be a pro as he twirled her in his arms. He explained that it paid to be from an upper-class family in Tevinter when it came to things like dancing as he masterfully dipped her when the song finished. Dorian informed her after that she was an awful dancer, which he interpreted as meaning she and the Commander were a perfect match.

By the time they had finished all of the lessons Belle wasn't as excited for the Winter Palace as she had first been.


	23. Chapter 23

“Excuse me... sorry, excuse me.” 

Belle tried to politely make her way through the throngs of elegantly dressed people blocking her path to the door but it was proving to be more difficult than she had first thought. It was like she was invisible, no one in this moving sea of color paid her any attention as they sauntered around talking loudly to one another. 

She was tempted to use her elbows to push and shove her way through the crowds, but anytime that idea crossed her mind a very disapproving image of Madame Vivienne appeared shortly thereafter. She knew the Lady of Iron would strongly disapprove of those methods and feared using them would somehow summon her out of thin air to berate Belle in a condescending manner. She put nothing past Madame de Fer and her magic. 

So instead she sighed and went back to politely making her way through the crowds, apologizing anytime she touched someone, which was all the time. She felt as if she was being suffocated by all of the heavy fabrics and perfumes that surrounded her. So, she was very thankful when she finally made it to the door on the other side of the room, pushing it open and making her way inside. 

When she had first arrived at the Winter Palace she was, of course, enthralled with how beautiful and elegant everything was. However, she didn't exactly know why she had been brought along. At first, she had nothing to do, and just followed the other servants that had been brought with her around. Until finally they were summoned to the Inquisitor's quarters. 

It soon became obvious that they had been brought along with the sole purpose of waiting on the Inquisitor. Apparently, they couldn't be too careful and didn't trust the servants in the Winter Palace, at least not in the Inquisitor's chambers. So, Belle and the others were tasked with doing things for the Inquisitor especially while she was in her room. 

Currently, Belle was headed to the kitchen in the Servants Quarters to pick up some food for the Inquisitor and some snacks for herself and the other servants. The ball had been going on for quite some time and the Inquisitor had been investigating the library and other sections of the Palace. Belle had been asked to get some food for the Inquisitor when she was done so she would have something in her room to come back to if she didn't want to eat at the party. 

It had taken Belle a lot longer to get there than intended and the workers looked very unhappy with her. Her tardiness had apparently held everything up. So, she quickly picked up the plates for her and went to make her way out of the door she had come in. However, she was stopped by an eleven servant who offered to show her a quicker way to get back to the Inquisitor’s room.

Belle followed the young elven girl out of the kitchen and into the courtyard. It was beautiful, open and green with flowers growing everywhere and a fountain in the middle. 

Wait, Belle stopped walking, she thought she saw something on the other side of the fountain. She backed up a couple of steps and peered around the curved edge to find two feet poking out around the side of it.

Belle didn't have time to process this as she heard terrified screams coming from the kitchen behind her. Whipping around she looked in that direction and could see people running from the building. She turned back to the elven girl in front of her.

The second Belle was facing her again she reflexively shut her eyes as she felt warm liquid splatter all over her face and arms. When she blinked open her eyes again what she saw made her scream. 

The young elven girl that had just moments before been talking kindly to her was now impaled on two daggers which jutted out from her back. Her head was hanging limply backward towards Belle, with her mouth open in a silent scream, and her lifeless eyes staring past her wide and unseeing.

Belle immediately dropped what she was carrying and backed away from the attacker who ripped his daggers from the girl's body and threw her to the ground. Belle was barely breathing as she stared what was probably going to be her killer in the face. No amount of the Commander’s training could have prepared her for facing an armed assassin with no weapons. 

She ran to the other side of the fountain to try and put some distance between her and the assassin, who was stalking her like a preparator stalks its prey. He was toying with her, he could have easily killed her already but was seemingly taking joy in watching her squirm.

Belle circled the fountain opposite the attacker as she was slowly filled with dread. There was no way she was going to make it out of this alive. She prayed to the Maker for a miracle that she was pretty certain wouldn't come. 

The attacker was evidently done playing games as he quickly rounded the side of the fountain and forced Belle to back towards the wall. He swung at her with his daggers a few times making her jump backward, obviously enjoying her reactions as each swing made no attempt to actually harm her. 

She backed right up to the wall and felt her stomach sink when her back touched the hard-stone surface. She watched in horror as the assassin drew closer and closer to her, and she was helpless to stop him. When he was directly in front of her he looked her right in the eyes before swinging his daggers towards her chest. 

Belle ducked at the last second and crouched in front of him, thrusting her hand which held the dagger she had stolen from the dead fountain man's body, toward his abdomen. In and up just as the Commander had shown her. Her eyes were squeezed shut for the entire ordeal and it took her a long time to work up the courage to open them again. 

When she did finally open her eyes, she was surprised to find that she wasn't dead. However, she couldn't say the same for the assassin who was impaled motionless on her dagger. 

Belle sucked in a breath and threw the dagger and the dead man's body off of her. She stood up and backed herself against the wall, standing there shocked and unmoving. 

She stayed there even after the Inquisitor showed up and killed the remaining assassins. The only movement Belle made was to sink down the wall until she was sitting up against it. 

Dorian and Varric both came over and tried to comfort and talk to her but they got no response. She just sat there, unmoving, staring at the dead assassin’s body. She never looked at or spoke to either of them, still in shock from what had happened. 

She was shaking slightly, her breathing still ragged when she heard a familiar voice call her name from across the courtyard. The Commander came running up to her from the direction of the fountain, immediately crouching down in front of her.

“Belle! Oh, thank the Maker you're alright!” He let out a relieved breath before quickly sucking it back in as he surveyed her. “Wait, are you alright??” He reached out a hand and wiped some blood from her face. “You're covered in blood.”

“S’not mine” Belle whispered still not looking away from the corpses in front of her. 

“What?” The Commander leaned closer cocking his head to the side to angle his ear towards her. 

“I said it's not mine.”

This response, however, did not seem to comfort the Commander as he frowned at her. “Belle are you ok?”

She didn't answer him, she didn't know how to answer him. She was physically fine, she didn't even have a scratch, but emotionally and mentally she was a wreck. 

“Belle, look at me.” She didn't move, “Look at me.” He brought his hand up and moved her face to look at his.

She met his eyes with tears in her own, and his expression shifted as he pulled her against his chest, embracing her. She cried into his chest now helpless to stop the tears from falling.

“I killed him, I killed someone.” She sobbed.

“Shh, I know, and I know you are upset, but I must say I am quite proud. Belle if you hadn't killed him you would be dead right now and-” he choked and stopped talking just holding her tighter.

“He killed her, the young elven girl, I turned around and she was… was…. was dead.” 

“Shh I know I'm sorry.”

“It's her blood, I’m covered in it, I can feel it on me.”

“It's ok, it's alright Belle we’ll get you cleaned up.” He rocked her gently in his arms.

It took a while for Belle to calm down but eventually, she did and the Commander walked her back to her room. He took her key from her and unlocked the door letting them both in. He then sat with her and waited, Belle, didn't know what for but honestly, she didn't really care, she was just happy she wasn't alone.

She finally discovered what they were waiting for when there was a knock at the door and Madame Vivienne sauntered into the room. She quickly dismissed the Commander and ushered him out of the room before coming back over to Belle. 

She helped Belle clean herself up, first stripping her out of her bloodstained clothes and then pouring her a bath and helping her wash. Once Belle was clean Madame Vivienne absolutely refused to let her wear one of the dresses she had brought with her and instead left the room to find something more appropriate.

Belle didn't know what she needed to be appropriate for and was utterly astonished when the Madame returned holding an elegant looking dark green dress. She insisted Belle wear it, she said that after the night she had been through she deserved to hang up her apron and have a little fun for once. So, Belle reluctantly agreed, not wanting to incur the wrath of the Lady of iron and let her help her into it. It was a stunning dress, nothing too over the top or extravagant but somehow still beautiful. 

It wasn't as large as the other gowns Belle had seen at the ball. It clung to the top of her accentuating her waist and what curves she had. It dipped low on her chest revealing more cleavage then Belle had ever seen on herself before. The top of the dress rested off of her shoulders, exposing them. The sleeves were sheer, laying loosely over the tops of Belle’s arms, before falling dramatically away at her elbows in a cascade of fabric. The bottom of the dress floated out away from her body. The skirt wasn't huge like the rest of them but instead went straight down and had a small train in the back. The material was light and comfortable and the green of the dress matched the green in her eyes perfectly. 

Madame Vivienne put a hint of makeup on her before tackling her hair. She twisted and pulled it back into a complicated updo before tugging some pieces out to let them fall around Belle’s face. When she was finally done Belle barely recognized herself in the mirror. The Madame wasted no time in ushering her out of her room and into the ballroom before leaving her at the door to attend to her own business. 

Belle made her way around the edge of the room not knowing what to do with herself. She felt completely out of place amongst all of these rich and important people. They were all celebrating the Inquisitor’s triumph and the success of the peace talks dancing and talking loudly to one another. The room smelled of alcohol and Belle was pretty sure everyone there was drunk. Which at least made for an amusing spectacle to watch. 

She was enjoying herself until she bumped into a very important looking woman in front of her. It had been an accident but the woman took it like an attack completely insulted and flabbergasted that someone would run into her. Belle apologized profusely but that didn't seem to be enough for her. So, she and the group of girls that surrounded her began to berate Belle.

“Who let you out of the servant’s quarters anyway?” The woman started as her friends chimed in. 

“Right? I mean look at the dress she is wearing, it's absolutely barbaric.” The one directly across from Belle said.

“Hideous” hissed another.

“I'm very sorry I-” Belle tried to apologize and excuse herself but was quickly interrupted.

“Ew, it talks like a dwarf. Were you raised in a cave or something?” One of them chided.

“I can't tell if it's a human, an elf, or a dwarf.” They all laughed at this and Belle could feel angry tears pricking her eyes. She tried to leave multiple times but they blocked her escape, unrelenting in their cruel remarks.

Belle felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to find the Commander who bowed deeply to her. 

“My Lady,” all of the other women fell silent when they saw him. “You are the most exquisite thing I have ever seen, and certainly the most beautiful woman in this room. I would be honored if you would save a dance for me.” The Commander gave her a wink that only Belle could see and it made her break into a small smile.

“Of course.”

“Thank you.” He took her hand and bowed again bringing his lips to the back of it and brushing a gentle kiss across her knuckles. 

As he walked away Bell glanced over her shoulder at the women standing behind her to find them all gaping at her.

Belle turned to the woman that had started it all. “I'd give you a nasty look but,” Belle let her eyes rove over the woman's outfit and then back up to her face, “It appears you already have one.” Belle then strode away confidently to the music of shocked gasps and insulted sobs behind her.

She made her way out onto an empty balcony taking in a deep breath of fresh air. It was too stuffy in the ballroom and Belle needed some room to breath after everything that had happened. She moved to the railing and placed her arms on it, leaning over as her eyes took in the view. 

After a few moments alone, she felt a large hand splay across the small of her back grazing the naked skin that was exposed between the fabric lacing up the back of her dress. She shivered at the touch of the warm gloved hand, knowing exactly whose hand it was. 

“Are you ok?” The Commander leaned against the railing next to her, keeping his hand on her back.

“I'm fine,”

“Truly?” He looked at her with concern.

“Yeah, I'm ok.” She turned and smiled at him genuinely. Despite everything she was actually ok, she had come to terms with what had happened. 

The Commander examined her face, trying to determine if she was authentic. “I'm glad.” His hand traveled over her back absentmindedly, giving her goosebumps. “You know I heard what you said to that woman as I was walking away.” He smirked at her. “I was impressed, I didn't think I'd see the day when something mean would come out of your mouth.” 

Belle laughed, “I felt it was justified.”

“Oh absolutely, she deserved it.” He looked away and then back at her obviously thinking. He then stepped away from her before extending his hand, “May I have this dance?”

“Really?” Belle faced him, surprised.

“Yes, I did ask earlier.” He raised his golden eyebrows at her, “Or have you forgotten?”

“I haven't forgotten I just didn't think you were serious.”

“Oh, I was very serious, I meant every word.” He smiled warmly at her.

Belle blushed taking his hand which easily enveloped her own. He pulled her into his arms as the music swelled in the background. 

“I can't dance though Commander, and I thought you didn't either?”

“For you, I’ll try, here” he wrapped his arm around her waist and lifted her up before placing her back down on top of his feet.

He gripped her tightly pressing her body against his as he moved them to the music. Belle wrapped her arms around his neck to keep from falling off of his feet. In this position they were very close, Belle could feel every movement of the Commanders body against hers and if she tilted her head up at the right angle she would practically be kissing him. 

She tried not to think about that however as her breathing was already much too fast and instead just tried to enjoy being wrapped so tightly in his arms.


	24. Chapter 24

Belle listened intently as she poured one of the Chargers another drink. She enjoyed listening to the crazy tales the Chargers always told late at night in the tavern. They were usually the last to leave, staying up drinking late into the night laughing and talking loudly as they relived some of their wild adventures. They would mostly just talk amongst themselves but they liked a crowd from time to time and usually invited Belle to stop and listen to at least one of their stories. She was normally their waiter anyway as the Iron Bull only trusted her to handle his special Qunari liquor that smelled as if it would be poisonous to anyone besides the giant Qunari. 

Tonight, it was one she had heard before about a time they had baited a giant. She stayed and listened anyway as she didn’t have the heart to tell them they had already shared this story. Instead, she laughed with the rest of them, asking questions and gasping at their responses. She never felt out of place when she was surrounded by the Chargers. The group of misfits seemed to readily welcome any outsider including Belle and she was just happy to have people that accepted her.

She thanked the group for inviting her to listen before moving over to the bar and placing her pitcher on the counter. It had been a long day and it was later than usual. Belle couldn't wait to fall face first into her bed and pass out. As she was hanging up her apron Cabot approached her with a piece of paper in hand.

“Belle, could you run this to the Commander’s office for me? All of his men were too drunk when they left to be trusted with it.”

“Of course.” Belle took the piece of paper from his outstretched hand. She didn't know what it was and turned to leave before examining it curiously. It was sealed so she couldn't open it so she just shrugged and trudged up the steps next to the tavern that led to the Commander’s office. 

She hadn't seen the Commander much since their return from the Winter Palace, and whenever she did see him he looked exhausted and frustrated. They were making frantic preparations for their next move against Corypheus and she feared the stress of it all was keeping him up at night. On top of his Lyrium withdrawal that was enough to make anyone tired and irritated. 

When she came to his door she could see dim light pouring out from underneath it and figuring that meant he was up she knocked. There was no response, however, so she knocked again. When she still heard nothing, she decided to just slip the paper under his door so not to wake him, in case he was sleeping. As she stooped to push the folded paper underneath the door she heard a groan from inside. She straightened quickly and turned her head sideways pushing her ear to the door and listened. 

When she didn't hear anything for a while she was about to go with her original plan of sliding the paper under the door, writing the sound off as just her imagination when she heard it again. It was a pained groan with words that followed but the door was too thick and the words too quiet so she couldn't make them out. She feared that maybe the Commander was hurt or in trouble so she quietly turned the doorknob, and finding it unlocked pushed the door open. 

To her relief the Commander seemed fine, he sat at his desk asleep with his head turned to the side resting on his arms which were folded on the desk in front of him. She tiptoed closer and it was only then that she could see his face was contorted in pain. He groaned and shifted in front of her mumbling. It sounded like he was saying “no” and Belle figured he must be dreaming. It didn't look like a pleasant dream however so Belle decided to wake him. She moved closer to his desk and put the paper she carried on the corner. Then she reached a gentle hand out and touched his forearm. 

She didn't even have a chance to speak before her world became a blur. She was grabbed by two strong hands and thrown up against the wall behind the desk. One hand gathered her wrists in a painfully tight grasp and held them above her head while the other gripped her throat. Her head had been slammed into the wall so it took her a moment to blink her eyes open and comprehend what was happening. 

The Commander was standing far too close to her his hands on her wrists and throat pressing her up against the wall pinning her there. She saw no recognition in his eyes, no warmth, instead, they were bloodshot and cold glaring at her with a hatred like she had never seen. He was panting and Belle could see the sweat that was beading on his forehead. The man she saw in front of her was not the Commander she knew, and that scared her more than anything else.

“You thought you could trick me demon?!” He hissed in an angry hate-filled voice.

“Cu-” Belle tried to speak but he squeezed her throat tighter so all she could do was gasp for breath. 

“Did you think taking on this form would save you?” He spat at her. “I know it's you.” he drew closer tightening his grip, “You will not use her form to corrupt me, I will not be tempted by you.”

Belle managed to wiggle a little which caught him off guard and he loosened his grip slightly.

“Cullen,” She just managed to breathe before he readjusted his hand on her throat.

At this, he looked at her and Belle saw realization slowly begin to dawn on his face. 

“Belle?” He whispered “Makers Breath!” He released her and she dropped to the floor in front of him clutching her throat and gasping for air. “What have I done?” He backed away from her slowly until the back of his legs hit his chair and he slumped down into it. He just sat there horrified, watching her as she sat on the ground panting. 

They sat in silence as Belle caught her breath before she looked up at him.

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you? I-” He broke off, “I’m so sorry, forgive me,” He said in a pained voice after a couple of moments as he put his face in his hands. 

Belle crawled across the floor until she was kneeling in front of him. She gathered his hands in her own forcing him to uncover his face and planted a gentle kiss on the back of them before just cupping them in her hands. She looked up to his pained wet-looking eyes. “I’m ok, you didn’t hurt me.”

He just looked at her, unconvinced, before moving his hands so he was now holding hers. He moved her hands into the dim candlelight and examined the bruises that were already beginning to form on her wrists. She tried to pull away but he just held on tighter looking at them. Then he brought a hand up to move her chin, tilting it up and away from him so he could look at her neck. He let his hands glide over her skin, touching each bruise left from his fingers. She watched his face as he did this and saw the genuine pain and guilt in his damp eyes intensify. 

Finally, she gently pulled away from him, “It’s nothing Cullen, I’ll be fine.”

He shook his head looking away from her, “It's not nothing, I could have killed you.”

“You wouldn’t, you’d never hurt me.” 

He scoffed at her, “How can you say that after what just happened.”

“Because the man sitting in front of me begging me for forgiveness over something he obviously had no control over, is not the same man who threw me up against the wall earlier. I don’t know that man, but I know you, Cullen.”

“That man and I are the same person.”

“No, I don't believe that.”

“You didn't know me before the Inquisition after the Circle fell I was a different man.”

“Is that what you were dreaming about?”

He shook his head yes, “When the Circle fell a desire demon held me there in a cage for days, tortured me. I watched my friends get slaughtered by abominations. It was horrific, you can't be the same person after that. It made me angry, hateful even, I was untrusting of everyone. I had nightmares about it before but without the Lyrium they are worse. The stress has made me more tired but I'm afraid to sleep, I’m haunted constantly by my past, I can't escape it.”

“I’m sorry, I wish I could help you.”

“You tried and look what it got you.” He pulled away from her and turned in his chair. “You should go.”

“But Cullen-”

“I can't believe you chose now to start using my name, I asked you to for so long and…” he trailed off.

“If you want me to stop I can-”

“No that's not what I meant I…” He sighed “Just go Belle.”

She didn't move, she just sat there looking at him.

“Go, before I hurt you again.”

She tried to get him to talk to her again, to let her in, to allow her to help him. She wanted to reassure him that she trusted him, that she knew he wasn't going to hurt her but he wouldn't even look at her. So finally, she gave up and left, walking through the cold night air back to her room, tears streaming down her face.


	25. Chapter 25

Belle sighed as she rested her cheek against her knuckles. She was watching the Commander swing his sword at the practice dummies in the ring out one of the tavern windows.

It was mid-afternoon and the sun was shining down on Skyhold, it was already an unusually warm day and the bright sunlight just made it warmer. Because of the heat the Commander had taken his usual armor off and eventually even his shirt and was now maneuvering around the ring in nothing but a pair of leather breeches. His golden skin shone with sweat in the sunlight and Belle watched as his muscles flexed with each movement. 

“If you don't close your mouth soon you'll start drooling.”

Belle looked over to where the good-humored voice had come from to find Dorian smirking at her knowingly. She blushed and looked away, her eyes looking anywhere except the Commander or her friend. 

“What are you doing here Dorian, you don't usually come hang out in the tavern with us peasants.”

He smiled at her jest taking a seat next to her, “True, this is a little below my tastes,” he glanced around at the dusty tavern, “But I was looking for you, I haven't seen you lately and when I have caught a glimpse of you, you've been wearing this crestfallen expression on your face, which is anything but becoming, even on a beauty such as yourself.” 

Belle rolled her eyes at the last part of this before looking back out the window.

“Trouble with our handsome Commander?”

“He's not 'ours' Dorian.”

“One can dream can't he.” He looked out the window too now.

“He pushed me away, something happened and he just pushed me away. He hasn't spoken to me since and I think he's actively avoiding me now.”

“Oh dear, what did you do?”

“Nothing, I was just trying to help.”

“Help with what?”

“It's hard to explain because I can't really tell you what happened, but I think he's afraid that he’s going to hurt me.” 

“Sounds like our Commander, always so worried about others over himself.”

Belle gave Dorian a look, “I told you to stop saying that, he's not ours.”

“Pft, not yet.” Dorian gave her a wicked grin before getting up to leave, “I’m afraid I’ve met my quota for time spent in a gross rundown tavern, but if you want to talk more dear you know where to find me.” and with that, he was gone.

Belle went to look back out the window before noticing a messenger standing patiently off to the side who had obviously been waiting for Dorian to leave. The messenger quickly told Belle that the healer had asked to see her before he hurried off to deliver his next message. 

Belle languidly stood up, glancing out the window one last time to look for the Commander, but he was gone now, which was all the motivation Belle needed to move from the window and out the door.

She made her way to the healer’s tent at the bottom of the stairs, and since she was expected she didn't make herself known before lifting up the flap and entering the tent. She was about to say something when she realized she could hear voices coming from the back of the tent. So she crept forward to hear better.

“I need her Commander, she was a great help at Adamant and with the conditions we are facing this time I expect there to be even more injuries and casualties.”

“I said no, she is not going and that is final.”

“Did you even talk to her about this? Does she know you are making this decision for her?”

“She doesn't need to, I am the Commander and what I say goes and I’m telling you that Belle is not going to the Arbor Wilds.”

“But-”

“Where am I not going?” at the mention of her name Belle stepped out from around the flap separating the back half of the tent from the front and interrupted the conversation.

The Commander and healer both looked at her startled. The Commander glanced first from Belle and then back to the healer.

“I'll be in my office.” He then moved past Belle, almost looking like he wanted to pause next to her and say something, but instead just kept walking and let himself out of the tent.

Belle looked at the healer, confused “What’s going on?”

“You'll have to ask the Commander about that, but as far as I can tell he doesn't want you going to the Arbor Wilds. He intercepted the messenger I sent to retrieve you. I was going to ask you if you would be willing to come to the Arbor Wilds with us and help in the healer’s tent but he got here first and forbade it.”

Belle thanked the healer and apologized for all of the trouble before exiting the tent and making her way towards the Commander’s office. She was very confused as to why the Commander would prohibit her from going to the Arbor Wilds with the healer and was determined to get an answer. 

She stopped at the Commander’s door and knocked.

“Come in.” was the reply.

So she pushed the door open and made her way inside the small office. The Commander looked up at her, apparently not surprised in the slightest at the sight of her. 

“We need to talk.”

“Of course.” he motioned to the chair in front of his desk and Belle moved to sit in it, before changing her mind at the last second. 

She stood behind the chair her hands resting on the top of it, she thought that maybe if she was standing it would give her more courage to stand up to him. 

“I can't go to the Arbor Wilds?” She asked, already knowing his answer.

“I think it's best if you stay here.”

“Why?”

“It's safer.” He said matter of factly.

“Maybe, but the healer needs my help, and I went to Adamant.”

“Yes, but we expect this to be more dangerous than Adamant.”

“That's exactly why I should go if the fighting is worse the healer will need more help to handle the injuries.”

“And she will get more help, just not from you.”

“But why?” Belle was getting frustrated. “Why does she have to find someone else when I am willing and able to help. I went to Adamant so I already know what it entails, better me than someone who has no idea what they are doing.”

“No, you're not going it's too dangerous.”

“So I can't risk my life but everyone else can risk theirs?” His apparent double standards were maddening, “Why is my life more important than your men’s?”

“My men are trained and they know what they signed up for, and I will be with them every step of the way. I can't be with you.”

“You don't have to be!” She was gripping the chair in front of her now, her knuckles turning white. Belle wasn't much for yelling, she was usually mild-mannered and happy but she was angry now and it had gotten away from her. She realized just how angry she was too late as she yelled at him. 

“It's going to be more dangerous this time Belle. I can't be out there worrying that maybe you'll stray too far while collecting herbs and get cut down by a demon, or that the Archdemon will show up and light the camp on fire, or that Corypheus’s men will surround the camp and kill you or take you prisoner or worse. I can't do that!” She could tell that the Commander was getting worked up now too.

“And so because you can't do that I can't go?! So others will have to suffer when the healer’s tent doesn't have enough help?”

“Oh please!” He said in an exasperated manner, he was yelling now too.

“They need me!”

“They don't need you! You're not even a healer! You cook and clean you don't spend your time in the healer’s tent.”

“So because I’m just a maid they don't need me.”

“That's not what I-”

“I’m going, Cullen!”

“No, you're not!”

“So you think you can push me away and ignore me, act like I don't even exist anymore and then just turn around and try to control me.”

“I never-”

“You're not my father Cullen! You can't control me!”

“I’m not trying to be! But I am the Commander of the Inquisition's forces and we don't bring along anyone I say isn't going, and you're not going Belle, that's final!”

“Ahh!” Belle let out an annoyed aggravated sound “This is unbelievable, you're so infuriating!”

“I’m doing this to protect you.”

“You're doing this to protect yourself.” and with that Belle turned and left all but slamming his office door shut, stomping away in anger.


	26. Chapter 26

Belle sat stubbornly at the back of the barn in an old wooden chair that had previously been covered in wood shavings. She sat with her arms crossed over her chest jiggling her leg restlessly, as she chewed on the inside of her lip, thinking.

She watched as everyone else scrambled around making the final preparations for the journey to the Arbor Wilds. She had childishly decided that if she wasn't allowed to go than she wasn't going to help prepare to go either.

She was still annoyed with the fact that she was being treated like a child. She didn't know what had given the Commander the notion that he could decide what she did and didn't do. She understood that he was the Commander of the forces but she wasn't one of his men, she was a grown woman who could decide for herself what was too dangerous.

Belle huffed out a breath and sat forward, just thinking about it made her flustered. She stood and started walking toward the large open barn doors, but upon seeing the Commander she quickly turned and began walking the other direction, hoping that he hadn't seen her.

They had both avoided each other after their argument. Belle didn't like the tension between them but figured that it would hopefully dissipate after he returned from the Arbor Wilds. _If he returns_ Belle quickly pushed the thought away. She wasn't going to think about “what ifs” right now, she couldn't.

Belle walked out the door that was directly next to the stables and as she rounded the corner almost ran into someone. It was the Commander, he had obviously seen her and had the same idea of trying to avoid her.

“Sorry.” Belle kept her face to the ground, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear as she moved around him.

“Belle” She stopped when he said her name. “Can we talk?”

Belle closed her eyes for a moment, gathering herself before turning to face him.

“I don't want to leave it like this, especially since tomorrow I…” he trailed off looking away from her.

Belle watched him, “You're right, we should talk.”

He glanced at her briefly before looking at the ground, “I’m sorry, you had every right to be angry, I should have spoken with you first before going to the healer, I was out of line and I hope you can forgive me.”

“I'm sorry too,” Belle shifted on her feet, “I don't like yelling.”

He looked at her, a hint of a smile dancing behind his eyes, “I was quite surprised when you raised your voice, I didn't think you had it in you, you're pretty terrifying when you're angry.”

Belle smirked, “So are you.”

This brought a pained expression to the Commander’s face “I’m sorry, I should never have raised my voice at you. I'm not trying to baby you, Belle, I just… I want to protect you.”

Belle nodded, “I know, but I want to help.”

“I know you do, but it's going to be so dangerous this time and I don't want to just protect you physically. You're so pure, so innocent, the way you look at the world it-” he sighed, “When I’m with you it's almost like I can see the world through your eyes, as it should be, beautiful and full of wonderful people and opportunities. The world hasn't ruined you like it's ruined me like it's ruined a lot of people, and that's special, and I want to preserve that.”

For a moment Belle saw him through his eyes, broken and ruined by the world. “You're not damaged, Cullen.”

He huffed at this shaking his head, “There it is, the world through your eyes.” Then he just looked at her. Belle fidgeted under the intensity of his gaze. They stayed like that for a moment before he smirked, “I have an idea.”

He turned and called the stable boy to bring his horse and another for the lady. Belle didn't know what he had in mind, but when the horses showed up in full gear she was beginning to realize just exactly what he wanted to do.

“Care for a ride?” He asked as he mounted his horse with ease.

“Sure” Belle rounded her horse cringing.

“You do know how to ride don't you?”

Belle stood on her tiptoes and peeked at him over the back of her horse “Oh yeah of course.” She lied. _How hard can it be?_ She thought. She had seen countless people ride horses and it never looked very difficult.

She stood next to her horse and put her right foot in the stirrup, luckily she was wearing pants today which made it much easier. She gave a small jump and hoisted herself onto the back of the horse. When she looked up however she didn't see the horse’s head, instead she saw the horse’s tail.

Belle could hear the Commander laughing on his horse next to her. At first, he tried to cover it with a cough but eventually gave up and just chuckled at her. She looked over at him and gave him an uncomfortable smile which just made him laugh harder.

“I take it you can't ride a horse?”

Belle shook her head no, she was smiling now as he laughed again.

“Alright, get down I have an idea.”

Belle shifted in the saddle, she had no idea how to get out of the position she had managed to put herself in. The Commander must have noticed her predicament so he dismounted his horse and came to stand next to hers.

“Give me your legs.” She lifted her left leg and put it in his outstretched arms. He laughed, “No both your legs, swing them this way.” Belle twisted in the saddle awkwardly, “Just…no turn the other way…. no, the other way… Belle.”

“I'm sorry I just-”

“Just come here.” He gave up trying to get her to help him and instead reached up and plucked her off the horse by her waist. He pulled her off in one swift motion and placed her down in front of him.

“Now what?” She asked him.

He walked back over and mounted his horse before motioning for her to come closer. The second Belle was in reach he leaned over and picked her up. He set her on the horse in front of him before she even knew what was happening.

“Comfortable?” He asked from behind her.

“Um…” she wiggled a little to test her seat and felt him stiffen against her back. “Kind of.”

She felt him pull away from her sliding back in the saddle before using a hand to tug on her waist. Belle felt herself slide backward now too and was soon flush against his chest.

“Better?”

“Mhmm” Belle couldn't speak, her chest was too tight and she was afraid if she tried her voice would just come out in a pathetic squeak. She could feel him against her back and anywhere they touched her skin was hot. He wasn't wearing his armor so she could feel every movement he made, as his muscles flexed underneath his thin shirt.

He clicked in her ear and the horse started to move forward.

“Where are we going?” She turned her head to the side a little so he could hear her better.

“Just on a ride, it's a beautiful day and I figured we could both use the fresh air and sunlight.”

They made their way through Skyhold and across the bridge. As they started down the path Belle look over the side of the horse.

She gasped and closed her eyes quickly, leaning forward to grab the horse's mane.

“Are you alright?”

“I didn't realize how high the path was.” She said nervously, still with her eyes closed.

The Commander chuckled behind her, “Belle, we've been living in a place called Skyhold for almost a year now. You've been out before haven't you?”

“Only for Adamant and I was in a cart then, too busy trying to keep supplies from bouncing out to notice the height.”

“You walk the battlements all the time.”

“Yeah but that's solid ground this is…. a horse.”

He huffed out a laugh, “It's alright Belle,” he wrapped an arm around her middle, “Let go and lean back, I've got you.”

It took some coaxing but eventually, Belle let go and leaned back, she didn't open her eyes though.

“We're going to go a little faster.” He clicked in her ear and she felt the horse move faster beneath her, bouncing them along.

She gasped and jerked forward opening her eyes and grasping the hand around her waist. _Wait if this hand is holding onto me then_ … “You can steer with one hand?”

“Yes, don't worry, just relax and enjoy the views, but um… don't look down.”

“Right, thanks for the reminder,” she said sarcastically. She knew he was smiling behind her even if she couldn't see it.

Luckily they made it to the bottom in one piece and Belle relaxed a little. That is until the Commander made a kissing sound behind her and the horse picked up even more speed. Belle squealed and held on tighter.

“Do you have me??” She asked him frantically.

“I've got you just fine.” He said sounding amused. “At least well enough for you to let go of my thigh.”

Belle froze, her right hand was clutching his arm around her middle and her left was holding onto a very large muscular thigh that lay next to her own.

She pulled her hand back quickly, “Sorry” she cringed.

“It's fine, it's just… distracting” he said the last word breathlessly in her ear, “Wouldn't want you to fall off the horse because I was distracted.”

They rode through the forces camp and the men all shouted out to the Commander. Some made comments about the fact that he was on the back of a horse with Belle but he just waved them away.

When they made it to the other side of the many tents and fires of the camp the Commander brought the horse to a stop. They were at the edge of a cliff but Belle wasn't paying attention to the height as she looked out over the valley in front of her.

“It's beautiful.” She whispered.

“Yes, I had a feeling it would be today, at least more so than usual, because of the lovely weather.”

“This is wonderful Cullen.” She squeezed his hand and his arm tightened around her.

“I've been thinking and…” he paused, “You were right, I can't keep you from going to the Arbor Wilds. If you want to go, I won't stop you.”

Belle turned to look at him over her shoulder, he met her gaze with a solemn expression on his face. “Really??”

“Yes, although I would still _ask_ you not to go.”

Belle thought for a moment biting her lip, “You really don't want me to go?”

“I _really_ don't want you to go.”

Belle thought carefully before she responded, “Then I won't go.”

“Truly??”

“Yes.”

He let out a relieved breath that Belle felt brush the loose hair that hung around her ear across her neck. He leaned forward into her, and Belle could feel him breathing against her.

“You have no idea how reassuring that is, I’m so glad you're not going. Now I can go and not worry about you the entire time because I know you’ll be back here, safe.”

“You're coming back though right?” Belle couldn't hide the fact that she was worried about him.

“Of course.”

He was trying to ease her mind but Belle could hear the uncertainty in his voice, he knew he couldn't promise her anything. He may not return, and Belle knew that, and it scared her. She didn't know what she would do if he didn't come back. She didn't want to think about that, so she focused on her beautiful surroundings and the man behind her instead. He may leave tomorrow, but he was hers for today.


	27. Chapter 27

Belle had been anxiously pacing around Skyhold for weeks when news of the army’s return finally arrived. She hurriedly rushed to the bottom of the stairs outside the kitchen and watched eagerly as men and women filed through the main gate and into Skyhold.

She stood on her tiptoes and her eyes darted from one face to the next looking for any sign of the Commander. As the last person walked through the gate Belle’s heart sank as she realized he wasn't there. _Maybe he stayed down with the men_ , she thought. She hoped this was the case because the alternative was far worse.

Belle went to seek comfort from her friends and now paced the library listening to Dorian and Varric trying to calm her down.

“They would have sent word ahead if something had happened to him Sunshine,” Varric said reassuringly from his perch against the wall.

“I know, I just can't help but worry though.” Belle wrung her hands in front of herself biting her lip.

“He's probably still down with the men, you know how much our Commander likes to work,” Dorian added as he leaned sideways to settle his shoulder against the bookcase next to him. “He's always been a workaholic.”

“I know, just… what if something did happen to him?” Belle turned to face her friends giving them a nervous look. “He doesn't even know how I feel. What if he died and I never-”

“Belle, you're overreacting, trust me I know what it looks like, I happen to be well versed in that area.” Dorian came and put his arm around her shoulders steering her over to the couch. “You just need to relax, I’m sure your knight-commander in shining armor will be here soon.” He said as he pushed her down to sit on the couch.

“He's not a knight-commander” Belle mumbled.

“And when he does get here one of you better make the first move or I'm going to take drastic measures.” Belle gave Dorian a look as he twirled the tip of his mustache. “You know how much I enjoy being dramatic, just imagine if I-”

“I won't let it come to that Sunshine,” Varric said interrupting Dorian as he came to stand in front of him elbowing him in the ribs. “But Sparkler here does have a point. You really need to tell him how you feel.”

“I know,” Belle hung her head, “I will, I promise, when he gets back, that's the first thing I'll do.”

But Cullen didn't come back that day. Belle barely slept that night, too worried about him to even close her eyes.

When morning finally came Belle left her room earlier than normal. It was her day off and she usually slept in but what was the point of sleeping in when you couldn't sleep, to begin with.

She was walking the battlements when she heard a familiar voice yelling out orders in the courtyard. Looking over the side of the wall she could see the Commander’s golden hair shining in the early morning sunlight. Belle's heart quickened at the sight of him and she sprinted down the steps as fast as she could.

“Cullen!” He turned and looked up at her as she called his name. A smile quickly spread across his lips at the sight of her.

“Belle,”

She ran up, stopping directly in front of him, “You’re ok.” She panted. He smiled warmly at her. Belle stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“Hey…” he said in a quiet voice enclosing her in his arms.

“I was so worried. You didn't come back with your men and I-” she choked.

“I had to come back a day later, I just got back this morning. I didn't mean to worry you.”

She pulled away from him, “Do you have some time to talk?”

He glanced over his shoulder quickly at his men before turning back to her and smiling “Of course.”

They walked to the battlements in silence. The air was almost tangible with a feeling that Belle couldn't quite put her finger on. Neither of them spoke until they reached the bridge between his office and Solas’ rotunda. Then they both tried to speak at the same time, breaking out in laughter as their words jumbled together.

“Alright, you first,” the Commander said as he stopped walking and turned to face her.

Belle leaned against the side of the battlements facing him. The sun was coming up behind him and his much larger shadow covered her completely as he blocked the light. “We need to talk.” Belle paused and tried again. “I mean...there's something I need to talk to you about.”

“Likewise.” He took a step closer, “Belle I-” he brought a hand up to rub the back of his neck, looking away from her. “I-... you-" he sighed “I never expected to find this here. It's been so long since-” he dropped his hand and looked at her again,“I should have seen it earlier, but I didn't think it was possible, it seemed too much to ask.” he drew closer now and leaned into her bracing his hands on the wall behind her, blocking any escape she may have had earlier.“But I can't deny it any longer. What I feel when I'm around you I-”

He was so close now, Belle closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. She could feel his warm breath brushing the hair that lay across her forehead. He leaned in closer and soon his breath was replaced by his lips as he kissed her. She felt his breath travel across her temple to her cheek where he planted another gentle kiss.

Belle sucked in her breath anticipating what was to come. He pulled back slightly before leaning in again and-

“Commander!”

Cullen froze in front of her and let out an annoyed breath as pulling back and stood up. Belle opened her eyes and glanced at him as she tucked a stray curl behind her ear before looking away awkwardly. He closed his eyes and paused a moment before answering the man in a barely restrained voice.

“What.” He growled through gritted teeth.

“The Inquisitor has asked for you”

Cullen glared at the man and if looks could kill the soldier would have dropped dead on the spot.

“I'm sorry sir but she said immediately.”

Cullen sighed and closed his eyes before looking at Belle again.

“Go, it sounds important.” Belle managed to say without any animosity in her voice, which was surprising as at the moment she was beyond annoyed.

“This is important.” Was his only reply as he gave her one last longing look before following the soldier.

Belle stayed where she was still leaning against the battlements catching her breath. What if they hadn't been interrupted? What was he going to do? Kiss her? Belle hoped that was the answer, as she finally pushed off the wall and strode away.

She needed to distract herself while she waited for him to come back. So, she went to find one of the Mothers. Her duties in the Chantry had all but disappeared, however, she still liked to offer her help when she had the time.

She found Mother Gwen in the main hall. The Mother asked Belle if she could go to the worship room they had set up off the garden and get a book that she had left there. Belle of course obliged and made her way straight to the garden. Belle paused in front of the door to the room, it was cracked open slightly, and she pushed it the rest of the way open without a thought.

The sight that met Belle's eyes broke her heart. Standing in the middle of the room was the Inquisitor with her arms wrapped around the neck of the Commander, she was kissing him, her body pressed tightly against his.

Belle gasped and quickly covered her mouth with her hand at the noise. But it was too late, the figures in the middle of the room quickly separated.

“Belle!!” The Commander looked at her startled and horrified.

“I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-” Belle started backing away from the open door. “I-I'll just go.” She turned and rushed away from the room as quickly as she could ignoring the Commander’s insistent calls behind her as tears began to stream down her face.

***

Belle avoided everyone now. Her friends tried to comfort her but she just turned them away. Nothing they could say would make her feel better. They couldn't change the past, and neither could Belle. She had to come to terms with what had happened, no matter how hard that was. She heard on numerous occasions that the Commander or Inquisitor was looking for her but she didn't want to talk to them, she couldn't talk to them. The pain was too fresh and she feared she wouldn't even be able to handle a simple conversation at the moment.

She no longer had the motivation to do anything, she went about her daily routine and kept to herself even more than usual. She wasn't happy in Skyhold anymore, she wasn't even content. Her days seemed monotonous now, they had no meaning anymore, but it's not like they had much meaning in the first place.

Maybe she was overeating a little, and being slightly too dramatic but she didn't care. Sure, she had no real claim on the Commander but that didn't mean she couldn't be hurt by what he had done. She thought he shared the feelings she had for him, but now she knew that was completely wrong. He had liked the Inquisitor the whole time just as she had feared. She had always only ever been a friend to him, and now she knew she would never be anything more. It hurt, but Belle knew the pain would eventually fade, or so she hoped.

Belle went back to her room during any free time she had now, which was where she was currently headed. She hummed softly to herself as she walked away from the barn and toward the stairs to the kitchen.

“Belle”

She ignored the Commander calling her name behind her.

“Belle!”

She stopped humming and quickened her pace.

“Belle!!”

He was too loud and too close for Belle to pretend like she hadn't heard him now so she stopped walking, took a deep breath, and turned to face him.

“Yes, Commander?”

“Please, Belle don't start calling me-”

“Do you need something Commander.” There was no way she was going to call him Cullen now. She just wanted him to spit out whatever he had to say so she could get out of this awkward encounter as fast as possible.

He looked at her for a moment before sighing, “Did you write this.” He offered her the folded paper in his hands which had obviously been fiddled with so much it now looked crumpled with poorly smoothed wrinkles all over its surface.

Belle recognized the paper and handwriting immediately without opening it. She would recognize the handwriting anywhere because it was her own. He had handed her the letter she had written a few days ago, which she thought had already been sent with a messenger.

She humored him anyway and opened the letter skimming her eyes over the familiar words, before answering him. “Yes, this is my letter.” She handed it back to him.

He looked down at the white sheet in his hands, “You want to leave?”

“I think it's best.” Belle watched his hands fidget with the paper as he looked at her.

“Why?”

“My work here is done, the Mothers no longer need my help. There isn't even really a Chantry to serve anymore. I figured my talents could be more useful somewhere else.”

“What about the Inquisition?”

“What about it?”

“You're just going to abandon it.”

“The Inquisition doesn't need me and I never really joined in the first place. I only followed the Mothers here.”

He looked down at the paper in his hands again. “I have to sign off on any personnel transfers.” He looked up at her with a somber expression, “Is this really what you want?”

Belle swallowed the lump in her throat as she gazed back into his sad amber eyes. She didn't want to leave, but she saw no other option, no other way for her to move on and not be in his or the Inquisitor’s way. “Yes”

The look on his face nearly broke Belle's heart all over again. “Then I won't stand in your way.” They stood in awkward silence for a moment. “Starkhaven is quite a distance away.”

“Yes… I've never been there and I figured maybe I should see it before the world ends, besides the Mothers in that Chantry have been asking for help for years.”

“I hope you're happy there.” He gave her a sad smile.

“Me too”

"Belle I just want you to know that-"

"Good day Commander." and with that Belle turned and left, refusing to let herself cry. She didn't want to hear whatever explanation he was going to give her. _It's better this way_ , Belle tried to tell herself, but she couldn't even convince herself of that.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me forever to decided what I wanted to do with this story.

Belle stood at the gates of Skyhold and waited for the messenger to get to her. She had been waiting at Skyhold’s entrance at this time for the past couple of days as she waited for a letter from the Chantry in Starkhaven. It had been a couple of weeks since the Commander had sent her letter and she was expecting a reply any day.

The messenger approached her and asked her name which Belle quickly gave. He rummaged in his bag for a minute before pulling out a neatly folded note. She took it from his hands and thanked him as he walked to the next waiting person. She turned the letter over in her hand and broke the seal before peeling it open and scanning the neat script on the page. It said exactly what she thought it would. The Mothers openly welcomed any help she was willing to offer and wanted her to start right away. 

Belle took a deep breath as she read the note over again. She kept trying to convince herself that this was for the best. She knew she couldn't waste her life waiting for someone who would never think of her as more than a friend. Part of her was happy that he had found someone to be with. She wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn't with her. She wouldn't get in the way of that, no matter how much it hurt to leave.

She absentmindedly ran her thumb over the paper as she thought. She finally looked up from the note and glanced around the courtyard. Her eyes met the Commander’s as he watched her from across the yard. She couldn't read the expression on his face but she knew he could read hers. She watched his countenance fall as tears came to her eyes. She turned away from him and ran toward the stairs to the battlements. As she reached the landing she could see him still watching her from the courtyard but he wasn't moving to follow her as Varric was now standing at his side talking.

When she reached the battlements she immediately went to the edge and leaned over it as she tried to catch her breath. She let the cool breeze that blew up over the edge dry the tears in her eyes that were threatening to fall. She breathed the cold air deeply into her lungs and felt it burn in her chest. The sensation helped to ground her so she could regain her composure.

“Belle?” She froze where she was and gripped the stone wall in front of her tighter. “Are you alright?” 

The Commander was standing behind her with concern etched all over his face. “I'm fine.” She said as she turned to face him. 

He didn't say anything but just continued to examine her. “What's that?” He motioned to the paper in her hand.

“It's a letter from the Starkhaven Chantry.” She handed it to him and watched as he skimmed it quickly.

“They want you to start immediately?” He looked back up at her.

“Yes, I leave tomorrow.” She replied matter of factly.

“So soon?” 

“That's what immediately means.” She tried to joke but it just sounded sad.

“And this is what you want?” He looked at her with serious intensity.

“I think it's for the best.”

“That's not what I asked.” He stepped closer. “Is this what you want?”

She shook her head and looked away from him. “It doesn't matter what I want.”

“Of course it does.” He tried to touch her but she pulled away.

She bit her lip to keep herself from crying and only spoke when she trusted her voice. “Not this time, what matters is what's best for everyone and that's me leaving.”

“What do you mean?”

She wouldn't answer him and just continued to stare at the ground.

“Belle, I think we should talk about what happened-”

“No, I'm sorry, I can't.” She back away from him. “I won't get in your way I promise. I'll leave and you won't have to worry.” She turned now and quickly walked away.

“Belle!...Belle!...Annabelle!!” 

He called after her as she broke into a run, with tears streaming down her face. He had never used her full name before and at the sound of it she almost turned around but she forced herself to keep going. She went back to her room and began to pack to try and distract herself from the reality of her situation.

Both Dorian and Varric came to her room to try and talk to her but she turned them both away. She didn't want to think about what had happened anymore. She was leaving tomorrow and starting a new chapter in life. She couldn't dwell on the past forever and wanted to get back to her usual happy self as soon as possible. The world was probably going to end soon and she didn't have any time to waste.

Belle wasn't much of a drinker but she decided that drowning her sorrows in a tall glass of ale might be exactly what she needed. She knew that the Commander wasn't usually in the tavern at this time so she headed there for a drink. She had been wrong however. When she entered she saw the Commander sitting at the bar with his back to her. Since he couldn't see her she figured she was ok and took a seat behind him near the door.

She sat alone in silence as she nursed a cup of ale. Maryden was singing one of her usual songs over the noise of the patrons. The Iron Bull and his chargers were loudly talking over each other as they recounted one of their many adventures. Quietly in the background the thump of arrows on wood could be heard as Sera shot at her door. It was the usually tavern that Belle was knew and yet everything felt different. She quickly finished the rest of her ale and ordered another one. When she finally she finished that one she had lost track of the time. She called her waiter over so she could ask about her tab.

“It's already been paid.” The woman replied.

“Tell Cabot that he didn't have to do that.”

“Cabot didn't pay for it.”She answered a little confused.

“Then who did?” Belle asked even more confused.

“The Commander paid your tab on his way out.”

“The Commander? Ok thank you.” Belle hadn't even thought he had noticed her.

When she woke up in the morning she took her bags down to the courtyard so she could pack them in the carriage. Dorian and Varric were already waiting for her. She had said goodbye to everyone else like the Mother's and Garrett the night before. She hugged both of her friends tighter than necessary. They both told her that they would miss her and that she better write them. If they didn't hear from her they both agreed that they would hunt her down. They helped her into her carriage and waved until she couldn't see them anymore. The Commander didn't come to say goodbye. She refused to cry as Skyhold faded in the distance.


	29. Chapter 29

It had been a month and Belle felt about the same. When she arrived at the Starkhaven Chantry she thought she would quickly get over what had happened and move on, but she had been wrong. She put on a brave face for the Mothers but she would mope around when they weren't looking. She just didn't feel like herself anymore. It was like part of her had been left back at Skyhold.

The world hadn't ended yet so she assumed the Inquisition had succeeded. She wished she had been there to celebrate with them. She hoped the Commander and Inquisitor were happy now that they were mostly out of the woods. She wrote Dorian and Varric at least once a week and they kept her up to date on what was happening back at Skyhold. She was expecting a letter from them soon, probably speaking of their victory.

At the moment she was cleaning up the Chantry after everyone had left. No one usually came in at night so that's when they cleaned. Her duties at this Chantry were very similar to the ones she had at the Chantry in Haven so at least everything was familiar. The Mothers were nice as well. They all liked her and treated her very well. She was sweeping the floor when there was a knock at the door.

“Belle, could you get that and see what daft person thinks they need to knock at a Chantry.” One of the Mothers called to her.

“Yes, Mother.” She replied as she snickered at the older woman's comment.

Belle weaved her way through the pews to the doors on the other side of the room. She pulled one of the doors open to reveal a very wet Commander.

“Hello, Belle.”

Her mouth dropped open at the sight of him. He was standing just outside the door in the pouring rain, squinting at her through the water running down his face.

“Commander, what are you doing out there it's raining?” She asked when she could finally speak.

“I noticed,” he squinted up at the sky before looking back to her, “May I come in?”

“Oh,” she quickly moved out of the way, “Of course.” He stepped in around her and ran a hand through his damp hair as he looked around. “What are you doing here?” She finally asked.

“Can we go somewhere more private?” He said as he glanced around.

“Follow me.” She led him through the Chantry and to a separate back room. Once they had shut the door she started again. “Do you need something Commander?”

“I don't _need_ anything from you but there are a few things I want.” He stepped closer. “First I want to apologize.”

“For what?” Belle questioned.

“For letting things get this far.” She cocked her head questioningly at him. “Belle, I should never have let you leave.”

“But it was my choice.”

“Are you going to tell me that your choice had nothing to do with me?” She didn't answer him. “That's what I thought. Belle-”

“I wasn't going to get in your way.”

“In the way of what?”

“You and the Inquisitor. I wasn't going to come between you.”

He sighed, “Belle, there is nothing going on between the Inquisitor and I.”

“But I saw you-”

“That whole situation was a huge misunderstanding.” He groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I tried to explain that to you.”

“But-”

“The Inquisitor kissed me, I didn't kiss her. She had apparently had feelings for me that I was unaware of. She was going to face Corypheus soon and wanted to express those feelings. She kissed me out of nowhere. Once she realized I didn't share her feelings she apologized. It should never have happened and you should never have seen it, but it meant nothing. It was just a misunderstanding. I tried to tell you but you were too hurt to listen.”

She dropped her eyes to the floor, “You must think I'm such a dramatic fool.”

“I was worried you had picked up some of Dorian’s bad qualities.” He teased, before stepping even closer. “You must know that I would never lead you on if I didn't truly have feelings for you.”

She brought her eyes up to his, “I never thought someone like you would-” she shook her head as she trailed off.

“Belle,” he cupped her face. “You're amazing. You are smart and kind and beautiful. I finally feel like myself again when I'm with you. If anything you are too good for me.”

“No-”

“Yes,” he stroked her face with one of his thumbs. “I always thought it was too much to ask for someone like you to care for me.”

“And yet I do.” She gave him a small smile.

He smiled back, “I… I love you.” He swallowed, “And I want to know if… if you-”

“I love you too, Cullen.” She replied without hesitation.

He let out a small huff of breath as he smiled and leaned his forehead against hers. They stayed like that for a moment just breathing each other's air before he tilted his head and pulled her toward him. He captured her lips in a gentle loving kiss that stole Belle’s breath away. She sighed as she returned the kiss and brought her hands up around his neck. He embraced her fully and pulled her against him as he kissed her again.

Suddenly the door to the small room opened. They broke away quickly and Belle covered her mouth as she gasped. In the doorway stood a very surprised Mother.

“I'm so sorry Mother.” She said completely embarrassed.

“Belle, I didn't know you had a lad, and such a good looking one at that.” Her eyebrows shot up in surprise as she looked at the Mother and she could see Cullen reach awkwardly for his neck beside her. “I just hope he's Andrastian.” She commented as she gave him a sideways glance.

“Of course Mother.” He answered.

“Wonderful,” the Mother looked thrilled. “Well, don't let me interrupt. Just remember this is a Chantry.” She added.

“Yes, Mother.” They said in unison before they watched her leave. They turned to look at each other before breaking out in laughter.

“Maker, I felt like I was eighteen again.”

“I know, that was so embarrassing.” They laughed again before becoming serious.

“Belle, will you come back to Skyhold with me?” He asked sincerely as he looked at her.

“Of course.” She replied without thought.

“Good,” he whispered as he pulled her in for another kiss. She smiled against his lips, "What?" He pulled back slightly to ask.

"You're soaking wet." She laughed.

He chuckled, "Sorry, would you like me to let you go?"

"Never," she murmured as she placed her lips back against his. 


End file.
